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When do you listen to music? How do you choose what to listen to at different times?

When do you listen to music? How do you choose what to listen to at different times? W8kNW
I frequently listen to music in my free time. I am interested in pop music. Twice is by far the most favorite pop girl group. They are debuted in Korea by JYP entertainment. They comprise nine members: 5 members from Korea, 3 from Japan, and 1 from Taiwan. I love them because they are very hardworking, humble as well. Moreover, they offer plenty of energy when I am tired or under lots of stress. They sing a variety of genres and like to challenge new types of songs. Therefore, I can listen to different songs depending on what I want to listen. I usually listen to the ballad when I am alone or feel a bit sleepy at night. When I am excited or energetic, I mostly listen to EDM songs. Overall, I listen to music most of the time when I am free.
I
frequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to music in my free time. I
am interested
in pop music. Twice is by far the most favorite pop girl group. They
are debuted
in Korea by
Possible spelling mistake found.
JYP
entertainment. They comprise nine members: 5 members from Korea, 3 from Japan, and 1 from Taiwan. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hardworking, humble
as well
.
Moreover
, they offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of energy when I
am tired
or under lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. They sing a variety of genres and like to challenge new types of songs.
Therefore
, I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
songs depending on what I want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
. I
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to the ballad when I am alone or feel a bit sleepy at night. When I
am excited
or energetic, I
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to EDM songs.
Overall
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to music most of the time when I am free.
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IELTS essay When do you listen to music? How do you choose what to listen to at different times?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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