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living in big cities is becoming more difficult

living in big cities is becoming more difficult OyxX3
In recent year, living in a large metropolis have become a broad issue in general public. Some people think that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. However, others believe that it is getting easier. In my opintion, I completely agree with the former idea. On the one hand, I accept that living in big cities has many drawbacks. This means that people have to pay high living costs. To illustrate this point, I would like to mention that nowaday there are so many people who live in countryside want to migrate from their areas to cities in the hope of having a better life. It caused so many problems. Firstly, because of high living costs so that they have to find jobs to meet their basic needs but the salary can not enough for high prices such as: food, accommadation, electricity, water, transportation. . . and they have to do more works at the same time. It due to poor quality of life, financial difficulties or even a higher risk of stress, depression, anxiety disorders. People come to urban with a large number that make a lack of housing and appearance of slums or informal settlements. Not only homelessness and proverty but also a wider gap between rich and poor need to be solved in the modern life. At the same time I believe that cities have a high levels of pollution and noise. This because of the the amount of pollution in cities is always higher in cities when compared to small towns or villages. Due to large number of industries and vehicles the air and sound pollution is more. For example as large number of people travelling from work to home uses their own vehicles or public transport which causes both air and noise pollution. In conclusion, while people believe that living in big cities is getting easier, I fully support the view that there are so many difficulties when you come to live and work in a large metropolis.
In recent year,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
metropolis have become a broad issue in
Consider using "public".
general public
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is becoming more difficult.
However
, others believe that it is getting easier. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opintion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

On the one hand, I accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
costs. To illustrate this point, I would like to mention that
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in countryside want to migrate from their areas to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the hope of having a better life. It caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
costs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find jobs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the salary can not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
prices such as: food,
Possible spelling mistake found.
accommadation
, electricity, water, transportation.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do more works at the same time. It due to poor quality of life, financial difficulties or even a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, depression, anxiety disorders.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to urban with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
number that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a lack of housing and appearance of slums or informal settlements. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
homelessness and
Possible spelling mistake found.
proverty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a wider gap between rich and poor need to
be solved
in the modern life.

At the same time I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
levels of pollution and noise. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
amount of pollution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is always higher in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
when compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns or villages. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
number of industries and vehicles the air and sound pollution is more.
For example
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling from work to home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles or public transport which causes both air and noise pollution.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is getting easier, I
fully
support the view that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
metropolis.
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IELTS essay living in big cities is becoming more difficult

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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