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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. mKM1
It is often argued that salary plays an important role in choosing a job. I don't completely disagree with the given statement and my essay is going to be proved by giving some reasons and examples based on my own knowledge. On the one hand, there are different reasons for choosing job with its salaries. Actually, there are some people who need a big salary because of the poor life. They usually look for jobs which has big salaries to supply their family's members. These kind of people always do more works than other type of people. Taking one instance to this view that I know a person who works very hard to support his children, although it is so difficult. This person tries to develop his family's economy and does more than 3 works. On the other hand, there are some people who are enough rich. However, they don't think about their wealth. They feel themselves worse that their wealthiness may not enough to do others life better. This kinds of people try to get bigger salary which might send to poor families. For instance, my uncle is very rich that he doesn't need to work. But he usually try to help poor families of our district that he works very hard and get a big salary. In conclusion, it is true that the salary is the significant part of choosing job. Because, money plays a vital role in our daily and social life.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I don't completely disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and my essay is going to
be proved
by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons and examples based on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
knowledge.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons for choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. Actually, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who need a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the poor life. They
usually
look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
to supply their family's members.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always do more works than other type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Taking one instance to this view that I know a person who works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to support his children, although it is
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so
difficult. This person tries to develop his family's economy and does more than 3 works.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
rich.
However
, they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their wealth. They feel themselves worse that their wealthiness may not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to do others life better.
Did you mean "these"?
This
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
which might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to poor families.
For instance
, my uncle is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rich that he doesn't need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
he
usually
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tries", "tried".
try
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor families of our district that he works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
salary.

In conclusion
, it is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the significant part of choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, money plays a vital role in our daily and social life.
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IELTS essay When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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