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Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. P6Ag
Funding by government has always been an issue of discussion, whether money should be provided for medical aids and education or to sports and theatres. According to my opinion both the fields play a vital role in humans life, so there should be equal funding for these fields. Firstly, education is the basic need of individuals. Education contributes in the development of nation. If the citizens are well educated it will change the standard of living. Government should provide all required facilities for proper education. Secondly, medical aid is the most crucial need. Nowadays, individual are suffering from numerous diseases due to their lifestyle. It is the prior duty of the administration to provide medical services to all as there are few people who cannot afford the facilities. As there is day to day advancements in the medical field, the government must be active to keep the country updated with new techniques. In addition, entertainment is also a basic need. Nowadays, the lifestyle of individual is hectic and they are also Involved in their jobs and are stressed up. In such cases, entertainment provide them relaxation. Citizens enjoy going to theatres and spend quality time with their loved ones. Furthermore, building sports stadium help in increasing the economy of the nation, as there would be events organised in the stadiums and it will contribute to the country. In retrospection, equal distribution of capital should be there as both the aspects are equally necessary for public as well as country.
Funding by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has always been an issue of discussion, whether money should
be provided
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
aids and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or to sports and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
. According to my opinion both the fields play a vital role in humans life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there should be equal funding for these fields.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the basic need of individuals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
contributes in the development of nation.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the citizens are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the standard of living.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should provide all required facilities for proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
aid is the most crucial need. Nowadays, individual are suffering from numerous diseases due to their lifestyle. It is the prior duty of the administration to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
services to all as there are few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who cannot afford the facilities. As there is day to day advancements in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
field, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be active to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the country updated with new techniques.

In addition
, entertainment is
also
a basic need. Nowadays, the lifestyle of individual is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hectic and
they are
also
Involved in their jobs and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
up. In such cases, entertainment provide them relaxation. Citizens enjoy going to
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and spend quality time with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
Furthermore
, building sports stadium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in increasing the economy of the nation, as there would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
in the stadiums and it will contribute to the country.

In retrospection, equal distribution of capital should be there as both the aspects are
equally
necessary for public
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
country.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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