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In many countries people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

In many countries people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause? 2j1j
At the outset of new millennium, mankind is more intrigued by the life in metropolis, which include migrating from rural areas to urban areas. Some people make this decision due to the prevelance of job oppertunities, while others settle there due to good educational and health-care facilities. However, this also brings about some drawbacks, such as decline in agriculture practices and increase in population in cities. To begin with, one of major reason for migration of people from villages to cities is the ample of job oppertunities. This is because, majority of companies build their head offices within city areas, which opens up plenty of working options for the employees. To illustrate it further, the skills of people working in cities are enhanced and they can have more growth in there career. For example, the teenagers migrate from Indian villages to cities with the hope of getting well-paid jobs. Another reason behind moving from rural to urban areas are not only the better educational facilities but also the internationally accredited hospital. For example, delhi has big hospitals like Manipal, AIIMS and Fortis. Therefore, people migrate city to have a good satandard of life. On the downside, this mass migration is leading to huge impact on some important sectors. Firstly, the agriculture sector is majorly effected. As the youth has shifted to modern cities, no manpower is available which has lead to drastic decline in crop production. Thereby, ultimately causing scarcity of food. For example, due to migration of farmer families from Punjab to Delhi has caused reduction in food supplies by 89 percent. Secondly, the migration has caused population explosion in urban areas. Therefore, causing increased traffic congestion and owercrowded hospitals. To recapitulate, that there are undeniable evidences that due the higher probability of getting lucrative job oppertunities, better medical facilities and high ended education more people prefer living in a metropolis, which in turn, destroys the agricultural side and cause population explosion in cities.
At the outset of new millennium, mankind is more intrigued by the life in metropolis, which include migrating from rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this decision
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
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prevelance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppertunities
, while others settle there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational and health-care facilities.
However
, this
also
brings about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, such as decline in agriculture practices and increase in population in cities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of major reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from villages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
The phrase 'the ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the ample of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppertunities
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
build their head offices within city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, which opens up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of working options for the employees. To illustrate it
further
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
enhanced and
they can have more growth in there career.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
migrate from Indian villages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
with the hope of getting well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Another reason behind moving from rural to urban
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areas
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the better educational facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
internationally
accredited hospital.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
delhi
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hospitals like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manipal
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
AIIMS
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fortis
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate city to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
satandard
of life.

On the downside, this mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
is leading to huge impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sectors.
Firstly
, the agriculture sector is
majorly
effected. As the youth has shifted to modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, no manpower is available which has lead to drastic decline in crop production. Thereby,
ultimately
causing scarcity of food.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
of farmer families from Punjab to Delhi has caused reduction in food supplies by 89 percent.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
has caused population explosion in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Therefore
, causing increased traffic congestion and
Possible spelling mistake found.
owercrowded
hospitals.

To recapitulate, that there are undeniable evidences that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
the higher probability of getting lucrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppertunities
, better medical facilities and high ended education more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer living in a metropolis, which in turn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the agricultural side and cause population explosion in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
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IELTS essay In many countries people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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