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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration for many. Others, however, prefer different other aspects of a job over the salary they earn. v.8

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration for many. Others, however, prefer different other aspects of a job over the salary they earn. v. 8
It might seem strange yet blunt, but we cannot deny that we work to earn money so that we can put food on the table for us and our family. However, besides the salary we earn, we also look for job satisfaction, growth opportunity and social recognition from our career. To begin with, salary is important because without it we will not be working for a company at all. Some people are always after money and would not hesitate to change their job if they are offered a higher salary. However, to others, job satisfaction is equally important as it ensures work-life balance and allows us to be happy in our workplace. A large number of people would not compromise their job satisfaction for the money they are offered. Many top executives who resign from large corporations to work for smaller companies or to run their own companies are great examples of how much they value job satisfaction over the wages they earn. Moreover, the growth opportunity is another aspect people often sought for in their careers. 'A moderate salary and a great career growth aspect' is far better than 'a higher salary and no career growth' according to many professionals, and they are prudent enough to envision the future than to run after only money. Finally, people often want to be in a career that is socially appreciated and valued. For example, a few of my colleagues left high-paid private jobs to take government jobs only because that would give them social recognition and I quite understand the rationale for their decisions. In conclusion, besides salary, job satisfaction which ensures a work-life balance is also important. Moreover, career growth and social recognition often drive us to choose a job that brings us less money than we could actually make from other jobs. Tips: Important aspects of a job other than "salary": 1. Job security 2. Job satisfaction 3. Great working environment 4. Opportunities for use of skills and abilities 5. Appreciation and rewards 6. Feeling safe at the workplace 7. Social recognition 8. Passion for the work 9. Contributing to the betterment of the environment and people 10. Benefits and compensation 11. Respect and trust 12. Great co-workers and management 13. Retirement benefits 14. Good work-life balance 15. Learning and career development 16. Company's financial stability
It might seem strange
yet
blunt,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we cannot deny that we work to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can put food on the table for us and our family.
However
,
besides
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
we earn, we
also
look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
opportunity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recognition
from our career.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without
Consider adding a comma here.
it
we will not be working for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
at all.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and would not hesitate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if they
are offered
a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
However
, to others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as it ensures work-life balance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to be happy in our workplace.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not compromise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they
are offered
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
top executives who resign from large corporations to work for smaller
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or to run their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
examples of how much they value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
over the wages they earn.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
opportunity is another aspect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
sought for in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
. 'A moderate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
aspect' is far better than 'a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
growth' according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professionals, and they are prudent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to envision the future than to run after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
want to be in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that is
socially
appreciated and valued.
For example
, a few of my colleagues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
high-paid private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that would give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recognition
and I quite understand the rationale for their decisions.

In conclusion
,
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
which ensures a work-life balance is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recognition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
drive us to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that brings us less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than we could actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
from other jobs.

Tips:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Important
aspects of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
other than
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
salary
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
:

1.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
security


2.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
satisfaction


3.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Great
working
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
environment


4. Opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
abilities


5. Appreciation and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
rewards


6. Feeling safe at the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
workplace


7.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
recognition


8. Passion for the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
work


9. Contributing to the betterment of the environment and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
people


10. Benefits and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
compensation


11. Respect and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
trust


12.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Great
co-workers and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
management


13. Retirement
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
benefits


14.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
work-life
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
balance


15. Learning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
development


16.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
's financial
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
stability
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes

IELTS essay When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration for many. Others, however, prefer different other aspects of a job over the salary they earn. v. 8

Essay
  American English
21 paragraphs
386 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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