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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration for many. Others, however, prefer different other aspects of a job over the salary they earn. In your opinion what are the most important aspects of a job? v.6

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration for many. Others, however, prefer different other aspects of a job over the salary they earn. In your opinion what are the most important aspects of a job? v. 6
One of the most conspicuous trends in today's world is high income jobs. Some people believe that salary is the most significant consideration for choosing a job. On the other hand, others argue that passion is what matters and that can bring success in life. As such, there are both merits and demerits for this trend, this essay will explain both the aspects and give my opinion. Firstly, job satisfaction is the main consideration for most of the people to enjoy the work that makes them happy; however, passion also plays a key role and once passion and dedication join together then miracles can happen to the world. In addition, employees who put their heart and soul on their career will reach new heights in their life in no time. For example, Steve Jobs started his business in his garage and now leads the market by following his passion. Needless to say, money cannot drag us to success, but success will follow hardworking people who thrive in their esteemed field of knowledge. Secondly, another pivotal aspect is that most people cannot undergo early hardships in their career. So, most of the people tend to shift their focus from passion for growth in a short time and look for big salary packages to sustain their financial goals. For instance, a recent survey states that more than 50% of employees choose high packages to earn money in no time. Hence, dedication and anticipation are two significant qualities that are required for success. In conclusion, we can clearly understand that money is essential, but not the only essential aspect for success. Finally, the role of passion is too dire to ignore.
One of the most conspicuous trends in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world is high income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that salary is the most significant consideration for choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
On the other hand
, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passion
is what matters and that can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in life. As such, there are both merits and demerits for this trend, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both the aspects and give my opinion.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is the main consideration for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enjoy the work that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy;
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passion
also
plays a key role and once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passion
and dedication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
together then miracles can happen to the world.
In addition
, employees who put their heart and soul on their career will reach new heights in their life in no time.
For example
, Steve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his business in his garage and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
leads the market by following his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passion
. Needless to say, money cannot drag us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
will follow hardworking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who thrive in their esteemed field of knowledge.

Secondly
, another pivotal aspect is that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot undergo early hardships in their career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to shift their focus from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passion
for growth in a short time and look for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
salary packages to sustain their financial goals.
For instance
, a recent survey states that more than 50% of employees choose high packages to earn money in no time.
Hence
, dedication and anticipation are two significant qualities that
are required
for success.

In conclusion
, we can
clearly
understand that money is essential,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
essential aspect for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
Finally
, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passion
is too dire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration for many. Others, however, prefer different other aspects of a job over the salary they earn. In your opinion what are the most important aspects of a job? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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