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People in the current generation are not fit and active. This will cause health problems in the future. What could be the reasons for the inactivity and suggest some solutions for this issue. v.2

People in the current generation are not fit and active. This will cause health problems in the future. What could be the reasons for the inactivity and suggest some solutions for this issue. v. 2
Nowadays, more and more people have started to become inactive. As a result, this problem will create some serious health issues in the following years. This essay will look at the reasons for the problem and propose some solutions. To begin with, one of the most important reasons for this is that people are getting busier each day. Most of us cannot make time for exercise because of our crowded schedules. However, it's always possible to create time and move our bodies. For instance, many studies have shown how a daily 10-minute exercise can do so much for one's health. That is to say, the solution can be provided by each one of us, by leaving all the excuses aside, and following a daily sports routine. Another problem is that we're living in the technology age and the situation has many disadvantages as much as its benefits. We're using technology in almost all aspects of our lives, from online shopping to playing games. People seem to like how easy it is to even do grocery shopping online. However, the more we stay motionless, the more we start to develop health issues. For example, a recent study has shown that 60% of the population in America faced obesity just because of keeping inactive, not because of genetics. To tackle the issue, governments need to encourage their citizens to stay active by walking or by broadcasting other types of exercises from TV channels. In conclusion, it is crucial to stay fit and active to maintain a healthy life. My view is that the main responsibility for solving the problem lies within both the government and the individuals themselves.
Nowadays, more and more
people
have
started
to become inactive.
As a result
, this
problem
will create
some
serious health issues in the following years. This essay will look at the reasons for the
problem
and propose
some
solutions.

To
begin
with, one of the most
important
reasons for this is that
people
are getting busier each day. Most of us cannot
make
time for exercise
because
of our crowded schedules.
However
, it's always possible to create time and
move
our bodies.
For instance
,
many
studies have shown how a daily 10-minute exercise can do
so
much for one's health.
That is
to say, the solution can
be provided
by each one of us, by leaving all the excuses aside, and following a daily sports routine.

Another
problem
is that we're living in the technology age and the situation has
many
disadvantages as much as its benefits. We're using technology in almost all aspects of our
lives
, from online shopping to playing games.
People
seem to like how easy it is to even do grocery shopping online.
However
, the more we stay motionless, the more we
start
to develop health issues.
For example
, a recent study has shown that 60% of the population in America faced obesity
just
because
of keeping inactive, not
because
of genetics. To tackle the issue,
governments
need to encourage their citizens to stay active by walking or by broadcasting other types of exercises from TV channels.

In conclusion
, it is crucial to stay fit and active to maintain a healthy life. My view is that the main responsibility for solving the
problem
lies within both the
government
and the individuals themselves.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay People in the current generation are not fit and active. This will cause health problems in the future. What could be the reasons for the inactivity and suggest some solutions for this issue. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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