Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. glR7
There is a common belief that it is more essential to upgrade parks and sports facilities than constructing more shopping centers for people to visit in their free time. From my point of view, I firmly concur with this idea because it is priority that the well-being of people should be ensured. Admittedly, there is ample evidence that the construction of public parks will increase the amount of trees, which can discharge toxic chemical waste released everyday and bring fresh air to environment. In stark contrast, shopping malls consume copious amounts of energy and leave a massive carbon footprint. From a health standpoint, sport centers need to spring up and develop more, as it has a vital role to play in personal life of each person. As people nowadays is centering around modern technology, for example, youngsters will have their eye glued to the television screen instead of doing outdoor activities. This is the reason why sports facilities and public parks promote a healthier lifestyle, which boosts productivity and makes people feel better off, financially, mentally and physically. It is also interesting to note that parks and sports centers is a economical way to entertain yourself when you have free time. While going to shopping malls could act as the catalyst for a huge amount of money is spent. In this case, shopping centers is not necessary as other kinds of facilities. In conclusion, I am convinced that, compared to shopping malls, public parks and sports facilities can boost the human well-being, while shopping centers can bring detrimental effects to human’s lifestyle.
There is a common belief that it is more essential to upgrade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities than constructing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit in their free time. From my point of view, I
firmly
concur with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is priority that the well-being of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be ensured
.

Admittedly
, there is ample evidence that the construction of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
will increase the amount of trees, which can discharge toxic chemical waste released
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and bring fresh air to environment. In stark contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls consume copious amounts of energy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a massive carbon footprint.

From a health standpoint,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
need to spring up and develop more, as it has a vital role to play in personal life of each person. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays is centering around modern technology,
for example
, youngsters will have their eye glued to the television screen
instead
of doing outdoor activities. This is the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities and public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
promote a healthier lifestyle, which boosts productivity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel better off,
financially
, mentally and
physically
.

It is
also
interesting to note that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
economical way to entertain yourself when you have free time. While going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls could act as the catalyst for a huge amount of money
is spent
.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
is not necessary as other kinds of facilities.

In conclusion
, I
am convinced
that, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities can boost the human well-being, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
can bring detrimental effects to human’s lifestyle.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?