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Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Discuss both views and give your opinion yp8g
In this day and age, opinions are divided on whether living in the urban cities or rural areas. Even though the thought of choosing cities as a perfect place to find a better job opportunities, as well as develop interpersonal skill in the modern environment may sound justifiable to a certain extent, I contend my own view on the matter is that the government leave the countryside without constructing any skyscrappers on purpose of preventing excessive exploitation. This essay will analyze the reasons to support my view. On the one hand, mega-cites around the world attracted nearly 50% numbers of inhabitant. In fact, cities provide the completeness in the facilites that hardly ever be seen from small village, from a high-tech machines help in uprading working substructure to a variation of entertaining places. Furthermore, cities create a more job fields with different salaries from average to extremely high, which is appealled to every workers who want to increase their income, even one from the countryside. However, the limitation of employee available in some companies while the one with the university qualification tend to have their job. Coincedentally, a gap between the residence and job possession lead to a sharply rise in uneployement rate taken in a survey monthly. Cities are the factor which contribute to the world concern, global warming, by gas emission from the factories and transport used to travel around. On the other hand, nature beauty and green environment are what people want to choose the rural areas. To be more specific, older generation would return to their hometown in countryside whereas their demand of job and infrastructure had been decreased. Besides, the aiming of healthier lifestyle urging them to find the place where noise or air pollution are not the issues there. For instance, grandparents would be please to return to their hometown because they find the peace on remote land and miss the uncontaminated water flow in the river. Moreover, it is appears to be more secured in the countryside which criminals seldom threaten the safety of society here. In conclusion, the rural areas is the destination of peaceful while cities is a wonderful place for young adults that want to find a high salary job. Only when they accept the condition of maintenance their abilities, can they keep their current position.
In this day and age, opinions
are divided
on whether living in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
or rural areas.
Even though
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities,
as well
as develop interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in the modern environment may sound justifiable to a certain extent, I contend my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view on the matter is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
without constructing any
Possible spelling mistake found.
skyscrappers
on purpose of preventing excessive exploitation. This essay will analyze the reasons to support my view.

On the one hand, mega-cites around the world attracted
nearly
50% numbers of inhabitant. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide the completeness in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
facilites
that hardly ever be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village, from a high-tech machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
uprading
working substructure to a variation of entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
create a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
fields with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
salaries from average to
extremely
high, which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
appealled
to every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "worker"?
workers
who want to increase their income, even one from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
However
, the limitation of employee available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
while the one with the university qualification tend to have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Coincedentally
, a gap between the residence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
possession lead to a
You used an adverb ('sharply') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('rise') instead of another adjective.
sharply rise
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
uneployement
rate taken in a survey monthly.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
are the factor which contribute to the world concern, global warming, by gas emission from the factories and transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to travel around.

On the other hand
, nature beauty and green environment are what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to choose the rural areas. To be more specific, older generation would return to their hometown in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
whereas their demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and infrastructure had
been decreased
.
Besides
, the aiming of healthier lifestyle urging them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where noise or air pollution are not the issues there.
For instance
, grandparents would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
to return to their hometown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the peace on remote land and miss the uncontaminated water flow in the river.
Moreover
, it is appears to be more secured in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
which criminals seldom threaten the safety of society here.

In conclusion
, the rural areas is the destination of peaceful while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is a wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for young adults that want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a high salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when they accept the condition of maintenance their abilities, can they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
position.
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IELTS essay Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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