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Most people believe that a society will produce more happy people if there is little difference between earnings of the poor and the rich members of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most people believe that a society will produce more happy people if there is little difference between earnings of the poor and the rich members of society. NXa2
Fair distribution of income is the principal reason many people have a positive attitude that it can provide happiness in a country these days. In my point of view, I totally disagree and I believe that there are a plethora of factors that can produce beatific life to population. The main reason to support my position is that if the government allocates a proper welfare to their citizens, well-being could occur happiness to individuals in society. For instance, in the Netherlands, there are a plethora of poor people in the country but the government allocate a budget for those group. Apart from making their life easier, this welfare also reduce a rate of criminal in the Netherlands, as we can see from the fact that they have closed some domestic jails because they do not have prisoners. Another reason for my belief is that a good environment is one of elements that can cause a beatific life. For example, In Japan, they have safeguarded their environmental resources both a tourist attractions and countryside. Also, the government of Japan has been concerned about air quality in the country. Those actions provide a good quality of life to Japanese citizens. Although Japanese people considered to be as individuals who have been worked hard all their life, but the good quality of life allows them to be happy by enjoyed well-atmosphere around their community. In conclusion, to reduce a gap of income between people, it possibly makes people live well. But in my opinion, welfare and surroundings in community are more important than anything.
Fair
distribution of income is the principal reason
many
people
have a
positive
attitude that it can provide happiness in a country these days. In my point of view, I
totally
disagree and I believe that there are a plethora of factors that can produce beatific
life
to population.

The main reason to support my position is that if the
government
allocates a proper welfare to their citizens, well-being could occur happiness to individuals in society.
For instance
, in the Netherlands, there are a plethora of poor
people
in the country
but
the
government
allocate a budget for those group. Apart from making their
life
easier, this welfare
also
reduce
a rate of criminal in the Netherlands, as we can
see
from the fact that they have closed
some
domestic jails
because
they do not have prisoners.

Another reason for my belief is that a
good
environment is one of elements that can cause a beatific
life
.
For example
, In Japan, they have safeguarded their environmental resources both a tourist attractions and countryside.
Also
, the
government
of Japan has
been concerned
about air quality in the country. Those actions provide a
good
quality of
life
to Japanese citizens. Although Japanese
people
considered to be as individuals who have
been worked
hard
all their
life
,
but
the
good
quality of
life
allows
them to be happy by enjoyed well-atmosphere around their community.

In conclusion
, to
reduce
a gap of income between
people
, it
possibly
makes
people
live
well.
But
in my opinion, welfare and surroundings in community are more
important
than anything.
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IELTS essay Most people believe that a society will produce more happy people if there is little difference between earnings of the poor and the rich members of society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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