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When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. v.24

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion. v. 24
Technological advances are inevitable in all areas of human life and the speed of growth is accelerating in many fields of technology which significantly affects our daily life. Even though these developments make our traditional ways of living seem old-fashioned and inefficient, however, I think that there are plenty of reasons to keep the old skills alive. Firstly, on one hand the growth in technology makes our lives easier and more interesting, but on the other hand it reshapes our future and makes us adapt to changes in a reluctant way. It should be mentioned that there are many people who are unwilling to change their way of life and they are used to live in their own way for many years. Consequently, if we try to eliminate the old-fashioned ways it will have some significant repercussions in a society. For example, my father still enjoys his old radio device which is about half a century old, although he has got an infinite number of songs on the internet. Moreover, apart from the sociological issues mentioned above, removal of traditional skills may result in psychological issues among the people. In other words, it is obvious that technology brings people closer to each other, but in a virtual environment which is a sufficient factor to make people feel alone. For example, the old feel happy when their children and grandchildren visit them occasionally. But even if their relatives make a video call with them daily, it will not compensate the same feeling of a physical meeting. As a result, the elimination of traditional ways of life will bring incurable wounds to the health of society. To summarize, my opinion is that we should not be in the situation to opt for either new technological advances or traditional ways. In actuality, we should be welcoming both of them at the same time.
Technological advances are inevitable in all areas of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and the speed of growth is accelerating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields of technology which
significantly
affects our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Even though
these developments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of living seem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned and inefficient,
however
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
alive.

Firstly
, on one hand the growth in technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier and more interesting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
it reshapes our future and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
us adapt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in a reluctant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
. It should
be mentioned
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are unwilling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.
Consequently
, if we try to eliminate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
it will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant repercussions in a society.
For example
, my father
still
enjoys his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
radio device which is about half a century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, although he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an infinite number of songs on the internet.

Moreover
, apart from the sociological issues mentioned above, removal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
may result in psychological issues among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, it is obvious that technology brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer to each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in a virtual environment which is a sufficient factor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel alone.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
feel happy when their children and grandchildren visit them
occasionally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
even if their relatives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a video call with them daily, it will not compensate the same feeling of a physical meeting.
As a result
, the elimination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will bring incurable wounds to the health of society.

To summarize
, my opinion is that we should not be in the situation to opt for either new technological advances or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
. In actuality, we should be welcoming both of them at the same time.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion. v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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