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What would you do if you have 500sr?

What would you do if you have 500sr? kYJrN
Most teenagers in our days will probably buy something unnecessary with 500sr, like for example: video games, food and other sorts of things that won’t help them in the future. In this essay I’m going to be telling you what I would do with 500sr. The first thing I would do with 500sr is that I would invest the majority of it to my new business that I’m planning to do which is called A14. it’s basically a programming business that helps teenagers my age make softwares, apps and maybe other programs. The rest of the money that I have I would donate it to my favorite charity which is called GoFundMe causes. You might be wondering why this specific charity, I want to donate to this charity mainly because they are trustworthy and after you donate to them you can see how your donation is impacting the causes. In conclusion, I would use the 500sr for investing my business and donating some of the money to charity.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in our days will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something unnecessary with 500sr, like
for example
: video games, food and other sorts of things that won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in the future. In this essay I’m going to be telling you what I would do with 500sr.

The
first
thing I would do with 500sr is that I would invest the majority of it to my new business that I’m planning to do which
is called
A14.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
’s
basically
a programming business that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
my age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
, apps and maybe other programs.

The rest of the money that I have I would donate it to my favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
which
is called
GoFundMe causes. You might be wondering why this specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
, I want to donate to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are trustworthy and after you donate to them you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how your donation is impacting the causes.

In conclusion
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the 500sr for investing my business and donating
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
.
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IELTS essay What would you do if you have 500sr?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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