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I am applying for Volunteers in need who are looking for volunteers to help out at a famous international sporting event.

I am applying for Volunteers in need who are looking for volunteers to help out at a famous international sporting event. 0ALVG
Personally, I would come to consider myself as a very helpful person and who seeks for the good of others since I grew up in an environment of solidarity and love of neighbor, thanks to the education and social services that we did in my Sacred Heart school, I have come to deal with people of all types and of all ages like going to keep some grandmothers company in a nursing home either talking, playing or painting their nails, I have also gone to play and make company with those people that society Excuse the simple fact that they see the world differently and have some kind of disability and they will wonder why I say disability and not disability thanks to the fact that I have seen how they live I have realized that they are very capable even if it is slower but that does not mean that they do not have any capacity They are also looking for people with good linguistic skills, my first language that is to say the one I grew up with is Spanish and when studying in school we had English as a subject although it does not have a very high level I am perfectly able to understand and speak it, since the highest It is my speaking and writing what I am not very good at is in the use of English, thanks to the fact that my grandparents and my parents were migrants from Galicia Spain I have grown up listening to Galician so I can understand it and read it perfectly, Galician Being a combination of Portuguese and Spanish, I could also understand Portuguese, which would make me speak 2 languages and understand 4 languages. I think I would be a great candidate since I grew up with love, respect and love for my neighbor, so I have had to work as a team, to listen, understand and reach an agreement between all the ideas, thanks to this I would really like to get to work as a volunteer.
Personally
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to consider myself as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful person and who seeks for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of others since I grew up in an environment of solidarity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of neighbor,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thanks
to the education and social services that we did in my Sacred Heart school, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to deal with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all types and of all ages like going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
grandmothers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in a nursing home either talking, playing or painting their nails, I have
also
gone to play and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that society Excuse the simple fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world
differently
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disability and
they will wonder why I say disability and not disability
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thanks
to the fact that I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
I have realized that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
capable even if it is slower
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that does not mean that they do not have any capacity

They are
also
looking for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
linguistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, my
first
language
that is
to say the one I grew up with is Spanish and when studying in school we had English as a subject although it does not have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high level I am
perfectly
able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
and speak it, since the highest It is my speaking and writing what I am not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at is in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of English,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thanks
to the fact that my grandparents and my parents were migrants from Galicia Spain I have grown up listening to Galician
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
it and read it
perfectly
, Galician Being a combination of Portuguese and Spanish, I could
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
Portuguese, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me speak 2 languages and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
4 languages.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I would be a great candidate since I grew up with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, respect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for my neighbor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I have had to work as a team, to listen,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
and reach an agreement between all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thanks
to this I would
really
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to work as a volunteer.
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IELTS essay I am applying for Volunteers in need who are looking for volunteers to help out at a famous international sporting event.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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