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What the advantages and disadvantages of allowing students to eat in class? Please include specific details in your response. v.1

What the advantages and disadvantages of allowing students to eat in class? Please include specific details in your response. v. 1
Nowadays, wild animal protection is one of the most important challenges almost every country is facing. Many people think that animals should be kept in zoos, whereas others believe that animal captivity is immoral. On the one hand, keeping animals in zoological gardens is beneficial in some ways. Firstly, zoos plays an important role in wildlife conservation. This is because they help to protect the endangered breed and allow scientists to study animal behaviour. For example, the giant panda is listed as endangered species. The average life expectancy of wild giant pandas is about 15 – 20 years, while the captive ones can live up to 30 years. Secondly, zoos provide job opportunities and income for the local area, and the money raised can use for conservation projects. Furthermore, wildlife parks teach children about the delicate balance between animal category and their habitats; therefore, young people will learn to appreciate wildlife and nature. On the other hand, there are a variety of reasons why animals ought to live in the wild. First, zoos are artificial environment, so animals will lose their instinct to hunt for food. It would be better to save endangered species by protecting their natural habitats. Moreover, keeping animals in cages is unethical. Human have no right to use animals for the purpose of entertainment as well as exhibiting them with the aim of making a profit. In conclusion, it seems evident that both keeping animals in zoos and releasing them back into the wild each have their own unique advantages.
Nowadays, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
protection is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
challenges almost every country is facing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in zoos, whereas others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
captivity is immoral.

On the one hand, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoological gardens is beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
Firstly
, zoos plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in wildlife conservation. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to protect the endangered breed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
scientists to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For example
, the giant panda
is listed
as endangered species. The average life expectancy of wild giant pandas is about 15 – 20 years, while the captive ones can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to 30 years.
Secondly
, zoos provide job opportunities and income for the local area, and the money raised can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for conservation projects.
Furthermore
, wildlife parks teach children about the delicate balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
category and their habitats;
therefore
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will learn to appreciate wildlife and nature.

On the other hand
, there are a variety of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the wild.
First
, zoos are artificial environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will lose their instinct to hunt for food. It would be better to save endangered species by protecting their natural habitats.
Moreover
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in cages is unethical. Human have no right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the purpose of entertainment
as well
as exhibiting them with the aim of making a profit.

In conclusion
, it seems evident that both keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos and releasing them back into the wild each have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique advantages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What the advantages and disadvantages of allowing students to eat in class? Please include specific details in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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