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What problems do you have on the Internet?

What problems do you have on the Internet? 70DJb
Since the term "Internet' first known in the 1970s, it has been highly appreciated by many people, until the present time, it has become an indispensable part of people's life due to the benefits it provides us. The Internet itself isn't bad. but some people began to use it for the negative purpose after the Internet had became well known After the invention of Internet the term "computer virus" and "hacker is also started to appear, my computer used to suffer from it once 1 was the most dangerous problem on the Internet that can makes the users lose all their private files and secret documents. Fortunately, in this century, people devised the "anti-virus program that makes our computer more safe from the attack of viruses. But the negative side of the Internet didn't stop there when the Internet became popular and everyone can have one account in the social media app. It started to generate the new term "cyberbully" This term means someone is being bullied by an account on the Internet with the negative words. I used to be bullied by the unknown people on the Internet Sadly, it's a fact that VietNamese was ranked as the fifth over 25 countries uncivilized online by Microsoft Numerous people in VietNam like to be a hero online and bullied others without any hesitation because on the online world, they can hide their identity so no one can know who they are so they think that's mean they don't have to be liable for their words. Although there is still a large part on the Internet that extremely toxic, but there's still a part with higher education know the right way to treat people online, so there is still hope for a civilization world online in future
Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
term
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Internet'
first
known in the 1970s, it has been
highly
appreciated by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, until the present time, it has become an indispensable part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life due to the benefits it provides us. The Internet itself isn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
began to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
purpose after the Internet had
Use past participle here: "become".
became
well known After the invention of Internet the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
term
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
computer virus
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
hacker is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to appear, my computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to suffer from it once 1 was the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
problem on the Internet that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the users lose all their private files and secret documents.
Fortunately
, in this century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
devised the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
anti-virus program that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our computer more safe from the attack of viruses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of the Internet didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
there when the Internet became popular and everyone can have one account in the social media app. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to generate the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
term
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
cyberbully
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
term
means someone is
being bullied
by an account on the Internet with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
words. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be bullied
by the unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the Internet
Sadly
, it's a fact that
Possible spelling mistake found.
VietNamese
was ranked
as the fifth over 25 countries uncivilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
by Microsoft Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
VietNam
like to be a hero
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and bullied others without any hesitation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
world, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
their identity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no one can know who they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that's mean they don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be liable for their words. Although there is
still
a large part on the Internet that
extremely
toxic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there's
still
a part with higher education know the right way to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is
still
hope for a civilization world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
future
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IELTS essay What problems do you have on the Internet?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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