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What makes you happy or unhappy?

What makes you happy or unhappy? Dq7Jp
There are many things in life that can make me feel happy, and I will tell you some things that can make me happy. And I will point out some reasons in this essay First, music brings me happiness, it can inspire me a lot. For example, after a hard working day, I just need to listen to music, and then I will feel relaxed. And when I have any problems like I do not have a good mark at school or something that makes me get into a bad mood, at that time music becomes my motivation. In addition, when I spend my time with my friend, I feel really happy and excited. We often go to the cinema or shopping together, we have a lot of interesting activities. Therefore, during this time it helps me reduce stress. Finally, family is very important and it is one of the reasons that make me the happiest. Because, if I have any difficulties in my life they will help me find out the solutions. I am really happy when I can sit down and talk with my parents about many things. To sumarize, my family, friends and films are three things that are important to me. They inspire me a lot and make me happy.
There are
many
things in life that can
make
me feel
happy
, and I will
tell
you
some
things that can
make
me
happy
. And I will point out
some
reasons in this essay

First
, music brings me happiness, it can inspire me a lot.
For example
, after a
hard working
day, I
just
need to listen to music, and then I will feel relaxed. And when I have any problems like I do not have a
good
mark at school or something that
makes
me
get
into a
bad
mood, at that time music becomes my motivation.

In addition
, when I spend my time with my friend, I feel
really
happy
and excited. We
often
go to the cinema or shopping together, we have
a lot of
interesting activities.
Therefore
, during this time it
helps
me
reduce
stress
.

Finally
, family is
very
important
and it is one of the reasons that
make
me the happiest.
Because
, if I have any difficulties in my life they will
help
me find out the solutions. I am
really
happy
when I can sit down and talk with my parents about
many
things.

To
sumarize
, my family, friends and films are three things that are
important
to me. They inspire me a lot and
make
me
happy
.
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IELTS essay What makes you happy or unhappy?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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