Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

What makes the 18-to-29-year-old age group most likely to abuse alcohol?

What makes the 18-to-29-year-old age group most likely to abuse alcohol? AwwPL
Why are so many adolescents consuming alcohol? Why do they take risks trying this harmful drink? It is undeniable that alcohol abuse has been widespread among people from the age of eighteen to twenty-nine, which is a great concern all over the world. From my perspective, there are a number of factors that are responsible for this unwanted phenomenon. First and foremost, during the developmental period, youngsters have a tendency to seek out new and potentially dangerous situations, which may include experimenting with drugs and alcohol. As a characteristic of adolescence, they often act impulsively and can not realize the consequences of their misbehaviors. Moreover, constant deadlines and work can affect their emotions, causing depression and mental issues, which many of them cannot resist. Therefore, they abuse alcohol to reduce stress and balance their emotional life. Hereditary factors may also help to explain the trend. For example, it is obvious that young people whose parents or relatives are alcoholics seem to be more likely to expose to drugs than those who are not, and their rate of getting addicted is also higher. In conclusion, the 18-29 age group can easily get addicted to alcohol for many reasons; therefore, everyone should be fully aware of those factors and take appropriate measures to avoid them.
Why are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adolescents consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
? Why do they take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
trying this harmful drink? It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
abuse has been widespread among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the age of eighteen to twenty-nine, which is a great concern all over the world. From my perspective, there are a number of factors that are responsible for this unwanted phenomenon.
First
and foremost, during the developmental period, youngsters have a tendency to seek out new and
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations, which may include experimenting with drugs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
. As a characteristic of adolescence, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
act
impulsively
and can not realize the consequences of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
misbehaviors
.
Moreover
, constant deadlines and work can affect their emotions, causing depression and mental issues, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them cannot resist.
Therefore
, they abuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and balance their emotional life. Hereditary factors may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the trend.
For example
, it is obvious that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whose parents or relatives are alcoholics seem to be more likely to expose to drugs than those who are not, and their rate of getting addicted is
also
higher.
In conclusion
, the 18-29 age group can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons;
therefore
, everyone should be
fully
aware of those factors and take appropriate measures to avoid them.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay What makes the 18-to-29-year-old age group most likely to abuse alcohol?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Traditional music is a vital part of a country's cultural heritage and should be preserved
    Traditional music means old music of countries that is an essential part of a nation's cultural heritage and history, so I believe it should be protected and identified as a motivating national unity. traditional music can appeal to young people if old generations let them use a modern music instrum...
  • 5.5band
    Difference between UK and India
    my native country is India but I live in the UK. in my opinion India follows the good systems of the UK. India and the UK have some similarities in many areas but the majority are different. India follows constitutional parliament system but the UK follows the Constitutional monarchy. India has a la...
  • 5band
    which coming from the beyonds
    This feeling remind me of the person who is living in my memory. Yet, my brain doesn't allow me to access the data of hers. Somehow, sometimes has happened a weird thing in my wired machine so that I could see the past with her. Moreover, when I was able to see that semi-fictional, one point perspec...
  • 5band
    Recently, there is an increasing number of students being under academic pressure has become a concerning issue
    Recently, there is an increasing number of students being under academic pressure has become a concerning issue. As a result, finding viable solutions to the problem has become a major social concern. This essay will give us the opportunity to go over the topic in greater depth. It is suggested tha...
  • 6band
    Increasing traffic congestion is major of the country.
    Traffic jam is the situation when vehicles are stopped periodical time on the road and lack of road facilities, cause of that vehicles are stucking and wait for a long hours to move. therefore toll on the road is the major issue of the cities. One of the biggest problem is increasing traffic conges...
  • 5.5band
    CCTV cameras fight against crime, some people are opposed to their use. They believed that everyone has right for their privacy
    Nowadays, technology is advanced and people are using safety devices for their security. CCTV is also one of the advanced implementations. Some people say that these devices invade their privacy and they are uncomfortable in front of these devices. My opinion is that the benefits of CCTV cameras are...