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CCTV cameras fight against crime, some people are opposed to their use. They believed that everyone has right for their privacy

CCTV cameras fight against crime, some people are opposed to their use. They believed that everyone has right for their privacy Bwwgj
Nowadays, technology is advanced and people are using safety devices for their security. CCTV is also one of the advanced implementations. Some people say that these devices invade their privacy and they are uncomfortable in front of these devices. My opinion is that the benefits of CCTV cameras are overweight than their drawbacks. There are many advantages of CCTV to mention and people need to use them for their security. Firstly, the surveillance cameras help to reduce the cases of crimes. Burglars and robbers dare not commit crimes in front of CCTV. If not, no sooner they will be arrested. Moreover, these devices will lessen thefts and hostage situations. In addition, they are installed in public transportations where many offenses happen. These cameras can also reduce sexual harassment and murders which make people more or less safe. Furthermore, the surveillance cameras are set in the traffic light to keep an eye on whether people follow the traffic rules. If not, they are given a penalty. Finally, the camera records track the location of people which helps the polices to search the criminals. Thus why, people use these gadgets in their buildings, workplaces, and other public areas. The crimes are decreasing in many places by using these gadgets. To conclude, the installation of surveillance cameras may have some drawbacks which are less crucial than people safety. If a country is not safe, there are many obstacles that will impact society, business, and so forth It is indeed a prime solution to regulate the image of the country.
Nowadays, technology
is advanced
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
for their security. CCTV is
also
one of the advanced implementations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
invade their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
privacy and
they are uncomfortable in front of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
. My opinion is that the benefits of CCTV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are
Use "(overweight)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
overweight
than their drawbacks. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of CCTV to mention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for their security.
Firstly
, the surveillance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cases of crimes. Burglars and robbers dare not commit crimes in front of CCTV. If not, no sooner they will
be arrested
.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
will lessen thefts and hostage situations.
In addition
, they
are installed
in public transportations where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
offenses happen. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
sexual harassment and murders which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more or less safe.
Furthermore
, the surveillance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are set
in the traffic light to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow the traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. If not, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a penalty.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
records
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
the location of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the polices to search the criminals.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these gadgets in their buildings, workplaces, and other public areas. The crimes are decreasing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places by using these gadgets.
To conclude
, the installation of surveillance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which are less crucial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
safety. If a country is not safe, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obstacles that will impact society, business, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth It is
indeed
a prime solution to regulate the image of the country.
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IELTS essay CCTV cameras fight against crime, some people are opposed to their use. They believed that everyone has right for their privacy

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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