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What kind of man would you like to marry?

What kind of man would you like to marry? jdjdN
I haven’t got married yet, but I am in a love relationship. I’m now 20 years old and it’s really soon to get married. In the future, I think I will be able to tie the knot when I’m 28. I want to find a person who I truly want to spend all my last life with and live together as wife and husband. From my perspective, handsome is as handsome does. Someone’s appearance is not as important as their character. My future life partner is not necessarily handsome but he must have good characters. The one who can spend their time for me cause I think, to man, time is the most valuable thing they have. I would like to choose a man who is caring, has mature thought, tolerates me in any situation, understands me and the most necessary thing is love me. The fact is that any woman hopes that they can meet an ideal husband afterwards. But we have to accept the truth that there is no one completely perfect. My ideal husband is the one who has a will in his career, and can become a breadwinner and the most important element is love me and always turn to family. Personally, I think any woman will meet either of two kinds of man, the one who has money and the other has love. And the lucky woman can meet both of them. At the present, I luckily met a person who loves me more than himself, despite that he hasn’t had a stable career yet, but he is a good man and he spent all the good things for me. Maybe he still lacks some of my ideal husband criteria but honestly, I hope he will be my life partner afterwards. As many people said, 28 is the most beautiful age for a woman to get married. From my point of view, I just wanna get married whenever I am really ready. It means that when I have a stable career and have a good income that I don’t need to depend on finance for my husband. One can say that women in modernized society can live and take care of themselves without depending on men. Money is a sensitive issue in marriage life, it also causes family conflict afterwards. Due to that fact, I think the most suitable time to tie the knot is when a woman has a stable single life, at that time they are really ready for marriage. My personal view is that there are two biggest barriers when we are in love. The first thing is our career and the other is our family. It is clear that there is a generation gap between us and our family, especially my parents. It can cause contraction in our opinions because their thoughts may be a little bit backward. I have been in this situation, my mom didn’t like my boyfriend at first sight, just because he smoked. My mom always keeps a thought that any boy who smokes is a bad boy no matter if he could make her daughter happy or not. One can say that, to her, appearance is more important than character. This point of view is completely contrastive to mine. And this caused a conflict between us. Certainly, it’s really difficult to change one’s viewpoint. So if my family doesn't accept my partner, the only thing I will do is prove that their thought was wrong or maybe time will do it. I choose my partner, I choose my happiness, I spend my life with him, my family don’t. The fact is that marriage life is totally different from single life. There are more affairs that need to be worried about so that changing after marriage is obvious. There will be variations in both physical and emotional issues.
I haven’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married
yet
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
relationship. I’m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and it’s
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really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married. In the future, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
I will be able to tie the knot when I’m 28. I want to find a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
I
truly
want to spend all my last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together as wife and husband.

From my perspective, handsome is as handsome does. Someone’s appearance is not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as their character. My future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
is not
necessarily
handsome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
characters. The one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for me
Did you mean "because I"?
cause I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is the most valuable thing they have. I would like to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is caring, has mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
, tolerates me in any situation, understands me and the most necessary thing is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
me.

The fact is that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
hopes that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
afterwards.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept the truth that there is no one completely perfect. My ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
is the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has a will in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, and can become a breadwinner and the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
me and always turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Personally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
either of two kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
, the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has money and the other has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
. And the lucky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
both of them.

At the present, I luckily met a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
me more than himself, despite that he hasn’t had a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
yet
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
man and
he spent all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
things for me. Maybe he
still
lacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
criteria
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
honestly
, I hope he will be my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
afterwards.

As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
said, 28 is the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
age for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married. From my point of view, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
The word 'wanna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
wanna
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married whenever I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
ready. It means that when I have a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
income that I don’t need to depend on finance for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
. One can say that women in modernized society can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and take care of themselves without depending on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Money is a sensitive issue in marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it
also
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
conflict afterwards. Due to that fact, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the most suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to tie the knot is when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
has a stable single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
ready for marriage.

My personal view is that there are two biggest barriers when we are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
. The
first
thing is our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and the other is our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there is a generation gap between us and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
especially
my parents. It can cause contraction in our opinions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
may be a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
backward. I have been in this situation, my mom didn’t like my boyfriend at
first
sight,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he smoked. My mom always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
that any boy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
smokes is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
boy no matter if he could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
her daughter happy or not. One can say that, to her, appearance is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than character. This point of view is completely
Possible spelling mistake found.
contrastive
to mine. And this caused a conflict between us.
Certainly
, it’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
one’s viewpoint.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
doesn't accept my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing I will do is prove that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will do it. I choose my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
, I choose my happiness, I spend my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with him, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
don’t.

The fact is that marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There are more affairs that need to
be worried
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that changing after marriage is obvious. There will be variations in both physical and emotional issues.
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IELTS essay What kind of man would you like to marry?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
641 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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