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what is your hobby? and why?

what is your hobby? and why? pLowa
For years, shopping was my only hobby. Sure, I did some other things, like going to the movies, taking walks, working out, and reading, but none of those pastimes occupied nearly as much of my time and attention as shopping. I have a list address of shops because each shop represents different styles like the mall, department stores, a market and local shops. However I like go shopping online. I think it is a part of the wave of the future because it is certaintly convenient and wide range of products to choose from online shop. I feel that I can relax me from my dizzes and saving a lot of time. Honestly, I’m an impulse shopper. I don’t usually try to catch on new fashion trends but whenever I have an eye for an item, I bought it without a second thought. Some people consider that shopping is luxuries, but I am of opinion that shopping online brings people a number of benefits. First, shopping online allows me to browse for products and checking prices between these online shops. In this way, I can make a better decision to buy what I like after taking prices, sizes and models into consideration. I used to buy an elegant dress at virtual shop, which was cheaper compared to some shops near my houses. Moreover, since there is a high demand of buying things online, I can realize my dream of starting up business and achieve success in the long rub. This can be seen as a positive trend because it creates good job opportunities for young people like me and thereby help improve my income and well-being. To sum up, I think that shopping is a great hobby which can help people overcoming their stress or even anxiety. It occurs because doing shopping will make I more relax and forget about my problems
For years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
was my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hobby. Sure, I did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other things, like going to the movies, taking walks, working out, and reading,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
none of those pastimes occupied
nearly
as much of my time and attention as shopping.

I have a list address of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
represents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
styles like the mall, department stores, a market and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
I like go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a part of the wave of the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
certaintly
convenient and wide range of products to choose from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. I feel that I can relax me from my
Possible spelling mistake found.
dizzes
and saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.
Honestly
, I’m an impulse shopper. I don’t
usually
try to catch on new fashion trends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
whenever I have an eye for an item, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it without a second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is luxuries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am of opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a number of benefits.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
me to browse for products and checking prices between these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. In this way, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what I like after taking prices, sizes and models into consideration. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an elegant dress at virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
, which was cheaper compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
near my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
Moreover
, since there is a high demand of buying things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, I can realize my dream of starting up business and achieve success in the long rub. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it creates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job opportunities for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like me and thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my income and well-being.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a great hobby which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
overcoming their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
or even anxiety. It occurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
I more relax and forget about my
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problems
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IELTS essay what is your hobby? and why?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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