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What is your favorite season of the year? Describe the season and explain why you like it so much. v.1

What is your favorite season of the year? Describe the season and explain why you like it so much. v. 1
Generally speaking, every season has its beauty and meaning. When a person tries to understand which season she likes, she immediately associates her favorite memories with it. So, memories are the greatest part of our enjoyable time. To my way of thinking, I appreciate all terms. But apart from it, my most-liked season is summer. Therefore, there are two core reasons to improve my decision. To begin with, summer is considered the best season for having a rest. Nowadays the majority of people are tired or stressful because of their heavy schedule. Additionally, for having good results a person must not work incessantly. He needs some break to feel fresh, energized and enthusiastic about his work. Thus, in this case, summer is a perfect opportunity to relax and gather a huge amount of energy. To clarify, my mother is a translator. Unfortunately, she has a type of work which is available even at night. She works all day long and it is not beneficial for her. And as a result, summer is a pleasant chance to forget about everything and having a good time with our family. Secondly, like everyone, I like my birthday as well. To me, it is the happiest day of the whole year. Thanks to it, I gather all my friends, relatives and just make my day memorable. Moreover, I adore how to organize my birthday party and year by year look more creative. For instance, my seventeenth birthday was unique to me. Undoubtedly, during the process of an organization, I prefer to use appealing colors and brand new ideas that are more typical to me. As it was in summer, I celebrated my birthday at the beach with my closest friends. Thus, my birthday is one of the main reasons why summer is my preferable season. To conclude, every season includes some magic inside of it. For a person, his desirable season is full of precious memories, dear friends and important events. Taking into account these qualities, I highlight that summer takes another part of my life.
Generally
speaking, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
has its beauty and meaning. When a person tries to understand which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
she likes, she immediately associates her favorite memories with it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, memories are the greatest part of our enjoyable time. To my way of thinking, I appreciate all terms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
apart from it, my most-liked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
.
Therefore
, there are two core reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my decision.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
is considered
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
for having a rest. Nowadays the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are tired
or stressful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their heavy schedule.
Additionally
, for having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
incessantly
. He needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
break to feel fresh, energized and enthusiastic about his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Thus
,
in this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
is a perfect opportunity to relax and gather a huge amount of energy. To clarify, my mother is a translator. Unfortunately, she has a type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which is available even at night. She works all day long and it is not beneficial for her. And
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
is a pleasant chance to forget about everything and having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time with our family.

Secondly
, like everyone, I like my birthday
as well
. To me, it is the happiest day of the whole year. Thanks to it, I gather all my friends, relatives and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my day memorable.
Moreover
, I adore how to organize my birthday party and year by year look more creative.
For instance
, my seventeenth birthday was unique to me.
Undoubtedly
, during the process of an organization, I prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
appealing colors and
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that are more typical to me. As it was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
, I celebrated my birthday at the beach with my closest friends.
Thus
, my birthday is one of the main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
is my preferable season.

To conclude
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
magic
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "inside".
inside of
it. For a person, his desirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
is full of precious memories, dear friends and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Taking into account these qualities, I highlight that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
takes another part of my life.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay What is your favorite season of the year? Describe the season and explain why you like it so much. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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