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what is your definition of risk? should young people be more cautious

what is your definition of risk? should young people be more cautious GlwWL
Risk is the possibility that an outcome will not be as expected or bad happenings. Risk involves uncertainty about the implications of activity with respect to something that humans value such as health, well-being, wealth, property or the environment, often focusing on negative, undesirable consequences. On the one hand, risk-taking enhances emotional health. In other words, to gain confidence, kids need to try big, scary things. They need to see that even if they fail, they can try again. This means practicing persistence and resilience too, big important life skills that we all want our kids to have. However, on the other hand, It is essential for youth to know about risk because that will be reflected on their behaviour. In other words, when young people know more about that, it will help them to choose the choices that are better and avoid the negative works that may be dangerous. In addition to that, it may also help them to avoid the works that may affect their lives or that may ruin their lives, by doing this, they can have control in every work they do and can lead to a peaceful life. For instance, people who understand the  consequences of their decisions so that they will be able to make better ones in their lives. Furthermore, they will understand high-risk behaviour which will help them consider lower-risk alternatives. That is why it is important for teenagers to investigate and be knowledgeable about risky behavior. In conclusion, it is crucial to take into account that hazards affect life and children have to be careful to avoid it in their lives even though life experiences are useful because life has lots of ups and downs and that is why children are able to be confident in themselves and learn right from wrong.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Risk
is the possibility that an outcome will not be as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
happenings.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Risk
involves uncertainty about the implications of activity with respect to something that humans value such as health, well-being, wealth, property or the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
focusing on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, undesirable consequences.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
-taking enhances emotional health.
In other words
, to gain confidence, kids need to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
, scary things. They need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that even if they fail, they can try again. This means practicing persistence and resilience too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that we all want our kids to have.

However
,
on the other hand
, It is essential for youth to know about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that will
be reflected
on their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
In other words
, when young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know more about that, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to choose the choices that are better and avoid the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
works that may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
In addition
to that, it may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to avoid the works that may affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
or

that may ruin their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, by doing this, they can have control in every work they do and can lead to a peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who understand the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
consequences


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
their decisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better ones in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Furthermore
,

they will understand high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them consider lower-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk


alternatives.
That is
why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
investigate


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
be knowledgeable about risky behavior.

In conclusion
, it is crucial to take into account that hazards affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be careful to avoid it in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experiences are useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has lots of ups and downs and
that is
why children are able to be confident in themselves and learn right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
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IELTS essay what is your definition of risk? should young people be more cautious

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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