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What is your best time in a year? Please state your reasons and includespecific examples and details in your explanation. v.1

What is your best time in a year? Please state your reasons and includespecific examples and details in your explanation. v. 1
It is true that some advertisements nowadays life has a great impact on people’s buying behaviour, especially children. I believe that advertisers, almost, do focus on suggest and encourage young consumers to purchase more than they really need. On the one hand, children are more likely to be influenced by non-factual aspects of advertising than adults. It is clear that most children are likely to enjoy snacks, candies or toys. Therefore, almost advertisements nowadays have interesting content for children to make their parents buy. However, the problem is that not all products that appear on TV are good. If children enjoy and play these kinds of food or toys advertised in the media, it may have negative impacts on the physical development of children as well as their health. On the other hand, in fact, it can directly see that most advertisements these days are intent to persuade viewers, especially children, to make more purchases than they really need. Some products for kids have new features and attractive design, but these are not really necessary for their life. However, the increasingly high frequency of television and online advertisements for these products clearly shows persuasive attempts of advertisers. These marketing and commercial activities have certain effects by creating greater commercial impulse and making young children insist on asking their parents to buy those things for them. In conclusion, I believe that advertisers should decrease the number of advertising which aimed at children and parents need to concern about how advertisements affect their children.
It is true that
some
advertisements
nowadays life has a great impact on
people
’s buying
behaviour
,
especially
children
. I believe that advertisers, almost, do focus on suggest and encourage young consumers to
purchase
more than they
really
need.

On the one hand,
children
are more likely to
be influenced
by non-factual aspects of advertising than adults. It is
clear
that most
children
are likely to enjoy snacks, candies or toys.
Therefore
, almost
advertisements
nowadays have interesting content for
children
to
make
their parents
buy
.
However
, the problem is that not all products that appear on TV are
good
. If
children
enjoy and play these kinds of food or toys advertised in the media, it may have
negative
impacts on the physical development of
children
as well
as their health.

On the other hand
, in fact, it can
directly
see
that most
advertisements
these days are intent to persuade viewers,
especially
children
, to
make
more
purchases
than they
really
need.
Some
products for kids have new features and attractive design,
but
these are not
really
necessary for their life.
However
, the
increasingly
high frequency of television and online
advertisements
for these products
clearly
shows
persuasive attempts of advertisers. These marketing and commercial activities have certain effects by creating greater commercial impulse and making young
children
insist on asking their parents to
buy
those things for them.

In conclusion
, I believe that advertisers should decrease the number of advertising which aimed at
children
and parents need to concern about how
advertisements
affect their
children
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What is your best time in a year? Please state your reasons and includespecific examples and details in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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