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What is the most important animal in your country? Why is this animal important?

What is the most important animal in your country? Why is this animal important? o1193
Turkey is one of the gifted countries that have a significant nature along with its resources. The country is a half-island which means that it is surrounded by important seas like Mediterranean Sea, Black Sea and Marmara Sea. Throughout the country, one can come across different floras in diversifying areas, varying with the weather due to changing climate types. Also, it serves a habitat to many endemic species for many years so that there is a natural history museum in the capital of Turkey that showcases many of fossils of these animals or plants. However, one kind of them stands out among the others which is a bird: demoiselle crane. First of all, demoiselle crane is crucial for the culture in Turkey. Many Turkish people symbolize the bird as a lover, a broken heart or blessing. For example, there is a folk song belongs to Anatolian singers named after demoiselle crane and it had been started to become a popular one among society since 1980s. The song puts the bird into a pure beautiful woman, and then the man expresses his broken feelings about not reaching her while she flies over the sky away from him. In addition, covers of this song have been made by famous singers and bands so that other generations have a chance to listen the version which they like the most. Furthermore, when a folk see the bird near the village, it means that the coming days will be rich, peaceful and wealth for the people living there. Also, the bird has religious meanings for local community even though it is a migrant bird. For some beliefs, this sacred bird represents immortality, so it correlated with the God. Thus, demoiselle crane has an important role for the culture of local community. Secondly, demoiselle crane’s itself shows the significance of other birds which are becoming endangered species in the Turkey. Unfortunately, unwanted human activities contribute most of the number of species to decline including climate change, ruining their habitats and unwanted hunting. Therefore, demoiselle crane become a kind of bird that avoids to migrate their natural habitats in the East region of Turkey like their sister taxa. As a result of this, demoiselle crane is under protection by World Wide Fund of Nature (WWF) in Turkey. There is an increasing hope by ornithologists that we may across with this bird again in the limits of the country depending on news that the bird was seen 17 years after in the city, Bitlis. To conclude, Turkey gives the importance in demoiselle crane even it is not an endemic species. Thus, a foreigner can observe the effects of this bird in the country’s culture and many naturalist defends the presence of this bird in the country.
Turkey is one of the gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that have a significant nature along with its resources. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a half-island which means that it
is surrounded
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seas
like Mediterranean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sea
, Black
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sea
and Marmara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sea
. Throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
floras in diversifying areas, varying with the weather due to changing climate types.
Also
, it serves a habitat to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
endemic species for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is a natural history museum in the capital of Turkey that showcases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of fossils of these animals or plants.
However
, one kind of them stands out among the others which is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
:
Possible spelling mistake found.
demoiselle
crane.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
demoiselle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crane
is crucial for the culture in Turkey.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Turkish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
symbolize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
as a lover, a broken heart or blessing.
For example
, there is a folk song belongs to Anatolian singers named after
Possible spelling mistake found.
demoiselle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crane
and it had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to become a popular one among society since 1980s. The song puts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
into a pure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
woman, and then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
expresses his broken feelings about not reaching her while she flies over the sky away from him.
In addition
, covers of this song have
been made
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
singers and bands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that other generations have a chance to listen the version which they like the most.
Furthermore
, when a folk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
near the village, it means that the coming days will be rich, peaceful and wealth for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living there.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
has religious meanings for local community
even though
it is a migrant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beliefs, this sacred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
represents immortality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it correlated with the God.
Thus
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
demoiselle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crane
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for the culture of local community.

Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
demoiselle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crane’s
itself
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the significance of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
which are becoming endangered species in the Turkey. Unfortunately, unwanted human activities contribute most of the number of species to decline including climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, ruining their habitats and unwanted hunting.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
demoiselle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crane
become a kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
that
The verb 'avoids' is used with the gerund form: "avoids migrating".
avoids to migrate
their natural habitats in the East region of Turkey like their sister taxa.
As a result
of this,
Possible spelling mistake found.
demoiselle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crane
is under protection by
Did you mean "worldwide"?
World Wide
Fund of Nature (WWF) in Turkey. There is an increasing hope by ornithologists that we may across with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
again in the limits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
depending on news that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
17 years after in the city,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bitlis
.

To conclude
, Turkey gives the importance in
Possible spelling mistake found.
demoiselle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crane
even it is not an endemic species.
Thus
, a foreigner can observe the effects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
culture and
Possible agreement error. The noun naturalist seems to be countable; consider using: "many naturalists".
many naturalist
defends the presence of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay What is the most important animal in your country? Why is this animal important?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
458 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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