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What is the importance of music?

What is the importance of music? mXdWd
Music work as a stress buster as it help to reduce stress. To be precise, now everyone preoccupied with their mundane affairs so that is why the feel lethargic due to which they listen music to relax themselves. Moreover, music play a vital role in marriages. To explain, playing music is an appropriate way to enjoy in parties and without music party become boring. Hence, people feel energetic in happy occasions.
Music
work as a
stress
buster as it
help
to
reduce
stress
. To be precise,
now
everyone preoccupied with their mundane affairs
so
that is
why the feel lethargic due to which they listen
music
to relax themselves.
Moreover
,
music
play a vital role in marriages. To
explain
, playing
music
is an appropriate way to enjoy in parties and without
music
party become boring.
Hence
,
people
feel energetic in happy occasions.
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IELTS essay What is the importance of music?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
71 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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