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What is the importance of music in human life?what is the condition of music in the contemporary world?

What is the importance of music in human life? what is the condition of music in the contemporary world? jQQE8
Music is a mixture of different rithms also has distinct ways to express feelings to other people. There are many different ways to perform in different world. It plays a vital role in every human’s life. I will be discussing the conditions behind the modern era in the upcoming paragraphs. Music gives different soulmates to different masses. There are various reasons to explain the crucial role in human’s life. Firstly, it removes the stress from human body. To quote a relevant example, nowadays, people have hectic schedule and they are busy in their own work and sometimes they get depressed. Then, music will help them to reduce the stress. After that, people feel happy. Secondly, it gives peaceful mind and people feel fresh. For example, in the morning people usually do meditation as well as exercise along with listen favourite music. Ultimately, music has various benefits for relaxing mind in humans. Moreover, there are many conditions of music in today's world that is, it gives the wealth to people who are doing singing and have pure voice. In another words, it is a source of gaining money. For example, when a person has talent to sing a song in various voices then, it built the confidence in singer. After that, he gives performance on the stage then he earn money for his life. To conclude, without music human being is nothing because it gives peace in any difficult situation. So, music is a best medicine of any cure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a mixture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
rithms
also
has distinct ways to express feelings to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ways to perform in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
world. It plays a vital role in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
life. I will be discussing the conditions behind the modern era in the upcoming paragraphs.

Music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
soulmates to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
masses. There are various reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the crucial role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
life.
Firstly
, it removes the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
body. To quote a relevant example, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have hectic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
schedule and
they are busy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
depressed. Then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. After that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel happy.
Secondly
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
peaceful mind and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel fresh.
For example
, in the morning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
do meditation
as well
as exercise along with listen
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Ultimately
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has various benefits for relaxing mind in humans.

Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conditions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world
that is
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
the wealth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "going singing".
doing singing
and have pure voice. In
Did you mean "in other words"?
another words
, it is a source of gaining money.
For example
, when a person has talent to sing a song in various voices then, it built the confidence in singer. After that, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
performance on the stage then he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "earns", "earned".
earn
money for his life.

To conclude
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
peace in any difficult situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best medicine of any cure.
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IELTS essay What is the importance of music in human life? what is the condition of music in the contemporary world?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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