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What is the causes of obesity

What is the causes of obesity j8bPp

In some countries, the average weight of people is rising and their levels of health and fitness are increasingly deteriorating due to obesity, which leads to a great number of health problems such as heart attack and diabetes. The condition is pretty alarming among the world's most affluent Western countries. There are a number of reasons for obesity, each of which needs to be dealt with in a particular way.

In This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 countries, the average weight of This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 is rising and their levels of health and fitness are increasingly
 deteriorating due to obesity, which leads to a great number of health problems such as heart attack and diabetes. The condition is pretty alarming among the world's most affluent Western countries. There are a number of reasons for obesity, each of which needs to be dealt
 with in a particular way. 

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IELTS essay What is the causes of obesity

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

70 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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