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What is the advantages and disadvantages of social media in our life

What is the advantages and disadvantages of social media in our life QVMG9
The world becomes more closely by social media, negative and positive effects of social media are a common discussion in our society. The first group believes that social media makes their life really easy and close to others; however, the other team is looking at it totally different, but I am in the middle of the two parts. The optimistic part is talking about the easy and fast communication of any event in the world as it happens then in the past. People can share their direct and free opinion with others without any type of restrictions or obstacles, thus enhancing their personality skills and their ability to be active in their environment. Moreover, they can also know more about the different cultures which shall improve their acceptance to others. Cross chatting with a foreign person can help to improve their language as well as escalate their professional skills and competency which is important for their future life. On the other side, the huge wastage of time and the wrong information are the most common points for the pessimistic team. They are extremely worried about teenagers because they are spending most of the daytime on useless social media, which has a massive negative impact on their studies and their health as well. Furthermore, social media causes a new generation of people that live in their virtual life and increase the gap between them and their family members. Although they improve their general information, a lot of this knowledge might be wrong and shallow in the best scenario. Teenagers are very good prey to those people that aim to spread their strange ideas and abnormal behavior or customs. In light of the enormous difference between the two points of view, we cannot deny that social media became a part of our life. I believe that the two teams have some right reasons and also a few incorrect causes for their opinions. Therefore, we should practice ourselves to gain the most benefit and try avoiding the negative impact as possible as we can. These can be fulfilled by taking a part of our time to discuss with our children about their life on social media to protect them from its bad influence and limit the time of using it.
The world becomes more
closely
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are a common discussion in our society. The
first
group believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
really
easy and close to others;
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
team is looking at it
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am in the middle of the two parts.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
optimistic part is talking about the easy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
communication of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in the world as it happens then in the past.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can share their direct and free opinion with others without any type of restrictions or obstacles,
thus
enhancing their personality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and their ability to be active in their environment.

Moreover
, they can
also
know more about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures which shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their acceptance to others. Cross chatting with a foreign person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their language
as well
as escalate their professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and competency which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their future life.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, the huge wastage of time and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information are the most common points for the pessimistic team. They are
extremely
worried about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are spending most of the daytime on useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, which has a massive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their studies and their health
as well
.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
causes a new generation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and increase the gap between them and their family members. Although they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their general information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
this knowledge might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and shallow in the best scenario.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
prey to those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that aim to spread their strange
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and abnormal behavior or customs.

In light of the enormous difference between the two points of view, we cannot deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
became a part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I believe that the two teams have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
right reasons and
also
a few incorrect causes for their opinions.
Therefore
, we should practice ourselves to gain the most benefit and try avoiding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact as possible as we can. These can
be fulfilled
by taking a part of our time to discuss with our children about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to protect them from its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence and limit the time of using it.
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IELTS essay What is the advantages and disadvantages of social media in our life

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
377 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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