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What is advertising should do to attract people?

What is advertising should do to attract people? oRPEV
I bought many things which is advertised, but I didn't buy a lot of things which is advertised. So, I can understand both these views. One opinion is that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. I can partly agree this opinion. I experienced that I bought an item, because advertising it at many place. For example, I wanted to buy very popular comic which advertised at a lot of place such as stations, trains, buses, convenience stores, on the TV, on the YouTube, and I finally bought it. However, I didn't pay attention advertising and didn't buy an item which advertised many times. So, I didn't perfectly agree this view. I partly agree it. Another opinion is advertising so common that we no longer pay attention to it. I partly agree this opinion. Because I payed attention advertising and bought an item which advertised some times, but I didn't do that many times. For example, I will not pay attention advertising which introduce girl's toy, and I will not buy it, even thought I see it's advertising every minuets. So, I partly agree and disagree both these views. My own opinion is that if advertising consider and match what a person is interested, advertising is successful at getting attention and persuading us to buy it. I think that when I payed attention to advertising and wanted to buy things which are advertised, it is what I am interested or what I wonder buy or not. And when I didn't that, advertising item is what I am not interested. So, I think when people make advertising, they should consider and investigate not only how show it and how make people to buy it, but also what person like and what social trendy goods to attract people attention.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertised
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I didn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertised
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I can understand both these views. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
is that advertising is
extremely
successful at persuading us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things. I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
. I experienced that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
advertising it at
Possible agreement error. The noun place seems to be countable; consider using: "many places".
many place
.
For example
, I wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular comic which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertised
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
place such as stations, trains, buses, convenience stores, on the TV, on the YouTube, and I
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it.
However
, I didn't pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
advertising and didn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I didn't
perfectly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
this view. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
it. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
is advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common that we no longer pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
to it. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I
Only in a nautical context 'payed' is an acceptable past tense form of 'pay'. Please check!
payed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
advertising and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I didn't do that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times.
For example
, I will not pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
advertising which introduce girl's toy, and I will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it's advertising every
Did you mean "minutes"?
minuets
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
and disagree both these views. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
is that if advertising consider and match what a person
is interested
, advertising is successful at getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
and persuading us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that when I
Only in a nautical context 'payed' is an acceptable past tense form of 'pay'. Please check!
payed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
to advertising and wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertised
, it is what I
am interested
or what I wonder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
or not. And when I didn't that, advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
is what I am not interested.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
advertising, they should consider and investigate not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it and how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
what person like and what social trendy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
.
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IELTS essay What is advertising should do to attract people?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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