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What impact does advertising have on ?

What impact does advertising have on? YLDMK
I think Advertising has the big influence and the effective which are unconscious for us, and advertising is things that people take for granted. Recently, we have some opportunities with various types of advertising. For example, when I lived in my parent's house, I saw advertising with newspaper every day, so I checked advertising to get nice products and my mother looked for items which we can get good bargain. Also, when I took a train or bus, I often noticed a number of advertising. There are some advertisingｓ which have every category. Additionally, I often watch YouTube, there are many advertising in the movie. Then I sometimes watch the advertising of all, and I was interested in their contents. I have never bought them, but they are going to be attention. On the other hand, advertising is too familiar things and we don't usually think about it. I think a lot of people aren't conscious about advertising, because numerous advertising exists in our daily lives. For example, when we watched TV, a number of advertising is flows in TV especially before noon or late at night. However, people don't see it more than dramas, news or variety show, so people are not very interested. Also, I think commercials are included advertising, so commercials are often not seen seriously. Therefore, advertising has an influence that we try to buy things. I think people are persuaded by advertising, because advertising has huge power to communicate a lot of information which we can get good things. I think we pay more attention to a number of advertising, so our life will be better and companies should be better advertising quality.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
Advertising has the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
influence and the effective which are unconscious for us, and advertising is things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take for granted. Recently, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunities with various types of advertising.
For example
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in my parent's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
advertising with newspaper every day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
advertising to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
nice products and my mother looked for items which we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
bargain.
Also
, when I took a train or bus, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
noticed
Possible agreement error. The noun advertising seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much advertising", "a good deal of advertising".
a number of advertising
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisingｓ
which have every category.
Additionally
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
YouTube, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advertising in the movie. Then I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the advertising of all, and I
was interested
in their contents. I have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are going to be attention.

On the other hand
, advertising is too familiar
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
we don't
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about it. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aren't conscious about advertising,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
numerous advertising exists in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
TV,
Possible agreement error. The noun advertising seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much advertising", "a good deal of advertising".
a number of advertising
is flows in TV
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
noon or late at night.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it more than dramas, news or variety
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested.
Also
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
commercials
are included
advertising,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
commercials are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
seriously
.

Therefore
, advertising has an influence that we try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are persuaded
by advertising,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
advertising has huge power to communicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information which we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
we pay more attention to
Possible agreement error. The noun advertising seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much advertising", "a good deal of advertising".
a number of advertising
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
our life will be better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should be better advertising quality.
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IELTS essay What impact does advertising have on?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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