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Advertising is successful or not

Advertising is successful or not 7aBd6
There are many kinds of advertising around the world. For example, television commercial, SNS advertising and transportation advertising. These days, the number of the online advertising is increasing. It is because almost people use the Internet always and get a lot of information by them. In other words, our standard of judgement and the foundation of our life are made by information on the Internet. When we want to know today’s weather, news and the meaning of some words, we can get their information anytime, anywhere only to have smartphone, personal computer and tablet. So, we have many chances to see the online advertising. I think almost young people are not interested in general advertising all people receive. However, there are some advertisings suited each person too. They are especially seen in applications we often use. The representative is Amazon. Amazon is mainly online shopping and we can research and purchase easily by it. Advertisings in Amazon are originally made from the information we are interested or purchased goods. These tackles make good efficient for the consumers. In fact, I looked for the mask in Amazon last month. After I buy it, I recommended to buy mask cover and mask case. They are cheap and I know their exists for the first time. Then, I think to want them and buy them. Amazon offers some information on good term and timing. Like this, many advertising companies try to make efforts. And I think their efforts have an good effect.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of advertising around the world.

For example
, television commercial, SNS advertising and transportation advertising.

These days, the number of the online advertising is increasing.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet always and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
by them.

In other words
, our standard of judgement and the foundation of our life
are made
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the Internet.

When we want to know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s weather, news and the meaning of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
anytime, anywhere
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to have smartphone, personal computer and tablet.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the online advertising.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
almost young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not interested
in general
advertising all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
receive.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings
suited each person too.

They are
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in applications we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

The representative is Amazon.

Amazon is
mainly
online
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shopping and
we can research and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
easily
by it.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Advertisings
The usual collocation for "Amazon" is "on". Did you mean "on Amazon"?
in Amazon
are
originally
made from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
we
are interested
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

These tackles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
efficient for the consumers.

In fact, I looked for the mask
The usual collocation for "Amazon" is "on". Did you mean "on Amazon"?
in Amazon
last month.

After I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it, I recommended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
mask cover and mask case.

They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and I know their exists for the
first
time.

Then, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to want them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them.

Amazon offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
term and timing.

Like this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts.

And I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
their efforts have
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effect.
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To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Advertising is successful or not

Essay
  American English
21 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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