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antibiotics have served people well in treating infections for over 60 years, but as a society we have become dependent on them and they are now seen as a 'catch-all' for every illness and infection

antibiotics have served people well in treating infections for over 60 years, but as a society we have become dependent on them and they are now seen as a 'catch-all' for every illness and infection jRYka
Antibiotic is powerful medicine which to use around the world for treating illnesses. However, antibiotics are not a panacea and they can’t treat everything. They can cause side effects and ever be harmful for human health. I think these strong drugs should be putted under strict control. There are a number of strong arguments to support the idea that antibiotics should be sold only after doctor’s permission. Not many people know that there are two types of infections: viruses and bacteria. Antibiotic drugs are only needed to treat certain infections caused by bacteria. Therefore, they do not work with viruses such as rainy nose, cold and flu. However, people continue to use them without knowledge and become too dependent on them. Out bodies get used to drugs and after time they stop to work. Thus it can be a problem as medicine don’t kill infections anymore and they continue to grow. Every time when you take or give your child antibiotics unnecessary, your chance to develop dependence on them will be increased. Antibiotics can save life, but at the same time they also can be harmful. Before buying them you should talk with your doctor and he will give you advice about the best treatment for your sickness. You should remember that when drugs aren’t necessary, they won’t help you. However, some people afraid to go to the healthcare professional and they try to treat illness by themselves. This kind of therapy can have the worst consequences. In conclusion, I agree that countries should protect our health by banning to sell antibiotic drugs without doctor’s receipt.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antibiotic
is powerful medicine which to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
around the world for treating illnesses.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
antibiotics
are not a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
panacea and
they can’t treat everything. They can cause side effects and ever be harmful for human health. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
should
be putted
under strict control.

There are a number of strong arguments to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
antibiotics
should
be sold
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after doctor’s permission. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know that there are two types of infections: viruses and bacteria.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antibiotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
needed to treat certain infections caused by bacteria.
Therefore
, they do not work with viruses such as rainy nose,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
and flu.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them without knowledge and become too dependent on them. Out bodies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and after time they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to work.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it can be a problem as medicine don’t kill infections
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
anymore and
they continue to grow. Every time when you take or give your child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
antibiotics
unnecessary, your chance to develop dependence on them will
be increased
.

Antibiotics can save life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time they
also
can be harmful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
buying them you should talk with your
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
doctor and
he will give you advice about the best treatment for your sickness. You should remember that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
aren’t necessary, they won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
afraid to go to the healthcare
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
professional and
they try to treat illness by themselves. This kind of therapy can have the worst consequences.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that countries should protect our health by banning to sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
antibiotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
without doctor’s receipt.
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IELTS essay antibiotics have served people well in treating infections for over 60 years, but as a society we have become dependent on them and they are now seen as a 'catch-all' for every illness and infection

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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