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What factors contribute to an increase in unemployment and what steps can be taken to solve the problem?

What factors contribute to an increase in unemployment and what steps can be taken to solve the problem? LBa31
Unemployment is a term that refers to individuals who are employable and actively seeking a job but are unable to find a job. The unemployed rate in-between age group 15- 29 has been increased since 2009-2010. This essay will elaborate on the causes of it and solutions to overcome it. Firstly, the factor that has a major effect on this is population. If the population will soar in this way our next generation will suffer from greater unemployment as a vacancy for 1 position 100 will apply. Another aspect is education as many companies are hiring only skilled people with better knowledge. Secondly, Some economic strands are too involved such as recession and inflation. Thirdly, the Government is not creating enough jobs as well the government jobs are decreasing every year moreover corruption too had a greater influence by taking bribe. The solution which can help this to control is to improve the quality of Indian education by setting up an educated committee that can implement the ways to generate an expert labour force. It should allow more foreign companies to open their unit in India to create more jobs. Development of the rural areas will stop the migration of the rural people to the urban cities and this will not put more pressure on the urban city jobs. In addition, Rapid Industrialization should be created as well as develop the agriculture-based industries in rural areas so that the rural candidates don’t migrate to the urban areas.
Unemployment is a term that refers to individuals who are employable and
actively
seeking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are unable to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. The unemployed rate in-between age group
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
15- 29
has
been increased
since 2009-2010. This essay will elaborate on the causes of it and solutions to overcome it.

Firstly
, the factor that has a major effect on this is population. If the population
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will soar
in this way our
next
generation will suffer from greater unemployment as a vacancy for 1 position 100 will apply. Another aspect is education as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are hiring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
skilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with better knowledge.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
economic strands are too involved such as recession and inflation.
Thirdly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
is not creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
as well
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are decreasing every year
moreover
corruption too had a greater influence by taking bribe.

The solution which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
this to control is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of Indian education by setting up an educated committee that can implement the ways to generate an expert
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force. It should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
more foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to open their unit in India to create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the migration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to the urban cities and this will not put more pressure on the urban city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
In addition
, Rapid Industrialization should
be created
as well
as develop the agriculture-based industries in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
candidates don’t migrate to the urban areas.
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IELTS essay What factors contribute to an increase in unemployment and what steps can be taken to solve the problem?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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