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How to use Smartphone ???

How to use Smartphone ??? Vla5A
Many people nowadays are highly dependent on smartphones, and spend most of their time using smartphones. In my opinion, I think it is necessary and best to use smartphones in life, but some people disagree. I have three main reasons for my opinion. The first reason is the ease and speed of communication with others. For example, you can send a message to someone online or call them in a matter of seconds from the comfort of your home, you can send an audio recording, send your work, and share your photos and files in less time. Secondly, the size of smartphones and tablets. For example, you can carry your smartphone or mobile device anywhere, due to its tiny size. The third reason is that a number of people use their phones as a "safety cover” to deal with anxiety and loneliness. For example, a number of people break up due to the fact that they are anxious, shy, and lonely or pretend to be busy instead of communicating face to face. However, some people think otherwise. Excessive use of electronic devices can lead to decreased memory. For example, relying on technology to remember things like birthdays and phone numbers rather than memorizing them leads to amnesia. Secondly, excessive use of devices leads to poor intelligence. For example, you rely a lot on Google and the Internet to solve your problems and find a solution to your questions, rather than reading and searching for information on your own. Finally, it causes weight gain. For example, spending most of your time on the couch in front of screens and technology increases your lack of physical activity and leads to obesity and other diseases. In conclusion, I really believe that it is better to use smartphones in life. I think it is the best due to the fact it is easy to connect with others and in less time than meeting them somewhere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are
highly
dependent on smartphones, and spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
using smartphones. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is necessary and best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones in life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree.

I have three main reasons for my opinion. The
first
reason is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and speed of communication with others. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a message to someone online or call them in a matter of seconds from the comfort of your home, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
an audio recording,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
your work, and share your photos and files in less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Secondly
, the size of smartphones and tablets. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, you can carry your smartphone or mobile device anywhere, due to its tiny size. The third reason is that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their phones as a
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
safety cover” to deal with anxiety and loneliness. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
break up due to the fact that they are anxious, shy, and lonely or pretend to be busy
instead
of communicating face to face.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
. Excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic devices can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to decreased memory. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, relying on technology to remember things like birthdays and phone numbers
rather
than memorizing them leads to amnesia.
Secondly
, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of devices leads to poor intelligence. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, you rely a lot on Google and the Internet to solve your problems and find a solution to your questions,
rather
than reading and searching for information on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Finally
, it causes weight gain. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, spending most of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the couch in front of screens and technology increases your lack of physical activity and leads to obesity and other diseases.

In conclusion
, I
really
believe that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones in life. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the best due to the fact it is easy to connect with others and in less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than meeting them somewhere.
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IELTS essay How to use Smartphone ???

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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