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What do you think of the grandfather? Is he a selfish, authoritarian man or a man to be sympathized for?

What do you think of the grandfather? Is he a selfish, authoritarian man or a man to be sympathized for? Nmoj2
From my perspective, the man is a person who deserves to sympathize. Since one day we will grow old, we are also afraid of losing our loved ones as well as those we love. Fearing that they will leave us and no longer love us, the old man in the poem prevents his granddaughter's wedding as he is afraid that his granddaughter will no longer be by his side. He takes action but in a very unfriendly and childish way. The fact that he locked up his favorite bird for fear of letting it go free would leave him alone, when he realized the bird had been released, it still returned to him, he smiled. The old man is a symbol of fathers and grandfathers in real life when their children have to leave their homes. They all feel like they've lost something, therefore I completely sympathize with the old man.
From my perspective, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
is a person who deserves to sympathize. Since one day we will grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, we are
also
afraid of losing our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones
as well
as those we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. Fearing that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
us and no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
us, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
in the poem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
his granddaughter's wedding as he is afraid that his granddaughter will no longer be by his side. He takes action
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unfriendly
and childish way. The fact that he locked up his favorite bird for fear of letting it go free would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
him alone, when he realized the bird had
been released
, it
still
returned to him, he smiled. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
is a symbol of fathers and grandfathers in real life when their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their homes. They all feel like they've lost something,
therefore
I completely sympathize with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
.

IELTS essay What do you think of the grandfather? Is he a selfish, authoritarian man or a man to be sympathized for?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
151 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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