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What do you think of some pop-up advertisements that people often see while surfing the Internet?

What do you think of some pop-up advertisements that people often see while surfing the Internet? V0657
Absolutely, I have an affinity for watching advertisement more than listen advertisement because the strong Visual effects can provide me with enjoyment. In my opinion I think advertisements on high-rise building are essential to businesses because advertisements would be a good ways to get their name out there. Besides, I see them pretty much everywhere: on billboards, websites, TV commercial breaks, and so on. To be fair pop-up advertisements when I’m surfing the internet that a real nuisance. You know, when I’m streaming videos on the internet, and an advert just pops up and I cannot skip them. However, it’s quite useful for business, in this day and age, there’re at least 50 million internet users who nearly browse webpage day in day out. I mean, these pop-up advertisements will increase their brand awareness and build a customer base. For example, some of customer will be attracted by what they see and probably they will buy the products advertised online.
Absolutely
, I have an affinity for watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
more than listen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the strong Visual effects can provide me with enjoyment. In my opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
on high-rise building are essential to businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "way"?
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their name out there.
Besides
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them pretty much everywhere: on billboards, websites, TV commercial breaks, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
pop-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
when I’m surfing the internet that a real nuisance. You know, when I’m streaming videos on the internet, and an advert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pops up and I cannot skip them.
However
, it’s quite useful for business, in this day and age, there’re at least 50 million internet users who
nearly
browse
Possible spelling mistake found.
webpage
day in day out. I mean, these pop-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
will increase their brand awareness and build a customer base.
For example
,
Consider using "some customer" or "some of the customer".
some of customer
will
be attracted
by what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and
probably
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the products advertised online.

IELTS essay What do you think of some pop-up advertisements that people often see while surfing the Internet?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
160 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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