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What do you think about “When it comes to sport, a higher number of games played by men are broadcast, compared to that of women.”

What do you think about “When it comes to sport, a higher number of games played by men are broadcast, compared to that of women. ” 5agwD
These days, the number of people who watch sports on their TV or on the Internet is developed dramatically. However, sports media have been dominated by sportsmen, leaving sportswomen with very little attention because the number of people having more interest in sports is played by men than sports played by women seem to be increased. But I think people should pay more attention to women’s sporting events. To begin with, the main reason leading producers to bias men’s sport is that the number of viewers watching men sporting events overwhelms those who watch female athletic compete. Or the more viewers mean the more profit, if a sports program, for example, has lots of people watching, the producer can get an amount of money from that. Moreover, there are many factors that make the gap between men and women sports become bigger such as the payment that a man can obtain always higher than that of women, or the number of active professional athletes, and the difference in the number of competitors at some sporting event like Olympic…So we can see that people prefer mensports to womensports. For all the reasons mentioned above, some measures should be taken to stop the discrimination against womensport. Firstly, instead of prioritizing to men sporting event too much, TV coverage should give more equal chances to women spory. If people continue to bias too much on mensport, the inequality of gender will increase. In recent years, people have paid more attention to women’s sport, hence, producer and television coverage should focus more on this area. In short, the more viewers watch mensports, the more opportunity that men sports can obtain by TV producers, and I believe that there should be greater equality in the coverage of men’s and women’s sport.
These days, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on their TV or on the Internet
is developed
dramatically
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
media have
been dominated
by sportsmen, leaving sportswomen with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
attention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having more interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is played
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
played by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
seem to
be increased
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main reason leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
producers
to bias
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of viewers watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
overwhelms those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
female athletic compete. Or the more viewers mean the more profit, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
program,
for example
, has lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
watching, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
producer
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an amount of money from that.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
become bigger such as the payment that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'obtain'.
obtain always
higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of active professional athletes, and the difference in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of competitors at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
like Olympic…
Add a space between sentences
So
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
Possible spelling mistake found.
mensports
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
womensports
.

For all the reasons mentioned above,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures should
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the discrimination against
Possible spelling mistake found.
womensport
.
Firstly
,
instead
of prioritizing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
too much, TV coverage should give more equal chances to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
Possible spelling mistake found.
spory
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue to bias too much on
Possible spelling mistake found.
mensport
, the inequality of gender will increase. In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have paid more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
producer
and television coverage should focus more on this area.

In short, the more viewers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
mensports
, the more opportunity that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can obtain by TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
producers
, and I believe that there should be greater equality in the coverage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.

IELTS essay What do you think about “When it comes to sport, a higher number of games played by men are broadcast, compared to that of women. ”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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