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What do you think about Arena of Valor, a mobile game is published by Garena. Do you play it?

What do you think about Arena of Valor, a mobile game is published by Garena. Do you play it? YgAdr
Play arena of valor is too easy for alva no door that has top Volkath, not a hot pick hero but in Alva no door's hand, it is the strongest hero. No one can run when alva no door chase. Beside Volkath, alva no door play all hero in the arena of valor. The first time he plays, the account is ciabop, he plays thane, the KDA is only 2/3/0. But then, he trains for a year and has created a new call deadY$( the old name of alva no door), makes a new legend. In 2017, when alva no door has created, he likes to play zill, Fennik, and wonder woman, a DC character that is franchised by the publisher ( Tencent, Timi, Garena ). Then time passed too quickly, ciabop has become his younger brother's account and change to Minh Quang( his younger brother's name ). Alva no door in 2019 is famous with omen and Hayate, a hot pick this time but now is too weak. Play too much arena of valor, he fails high school and has to study in a private high school call Phan Huy Chu Dong Da. And in PHC, he has some new friends and a new clan call no door. Then the legend is born. He plays Nakroth, Zhao Yun, and Raz. he plays the hero in Arena of Valor and has master rank in June 2021, five years since the first time he plays arena of valor. He reaches to top 18 Volkath in Cao Bang in July 2021
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arena
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valor
is too easy for
Possible spelling mistake found.
alva
no
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door
that has top
Possible spelling mistake found.
Volkath
, not a hot pick hero
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in Alva no door's hand, it is the strongest hero. No one can run when
Possible spelling mistake found.
alva
no
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door
chase. Beside
Possible spelling mistake found.
Volkath
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
alva
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
door
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
all hero in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arena
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valor
. The
first
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time
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
, the account is
Possible spelling mistake found.
ciabop
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
thane, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
KDA
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2/3/0.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
then, he trains for a year and has created a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
call
Possible spelling mistake found.
deadY$
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
name of
Possible spelling mistake found.
alva
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
door)
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
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new
legend. In 2017, when
Possible spelling mistake found.
alva
no
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door
has created, he likes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
Possible spelling mistake found.
zill
,
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Fennik
, and wonder woman, a DC character that
is franchised
by the publisher
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Tencent,
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Timi
,
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Garena
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. Then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passed too
quickly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ciabop
has become his younger brother's account and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Minh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quang
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
his younger brother's name
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. Alva no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
door
in 2019 is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
with omen and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hayate
, a hot pick this
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time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is too weak.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Play
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arena
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valor
, he fails high school and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
study in a private high school call
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phan
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Huy
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Chu
Dong
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Da
. And in PHC, he has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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new
friends and a
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new
clan call no
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door
. Then the legend
is born
. He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nakroth
, Zhao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yun
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Raz
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
the hero in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arena
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Valor
and has master rank in June 2021, five years since the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arena
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valor
. He reaches to top 18
Possible spelling mistake found.
Volkath
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cao
Bang in July 2021
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IELTS essay What do you think about Arena of Valor, a mobile game is published by Garena. Do you play it?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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