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Computers are an essential feature of modern education. Some people believe that certain subjects, such as mathematics, are better taught using computers. Others, however, think that there are aspects of education in which computer use is inadequate. Discu v.2

Computers are an essential feature of modern education. Some people believe that certain subjects, such as mathematics, are better taught using computers. Others, however, think that there are aspects of education in which computer use is inadequate. Discu v. 2
Over the past few years, there has been an obvious changed in the number of people using various electronic devices. Although technology could bring convenient on people's lives in terms of saving money and time, it could have damaging effects on people's interaction. To start with, there are many people using mobiles frequently because the gadgets could abridge the distances between people. The main advantage of using mobiles for people is that they could maintain their family bonds and keep in touch with friends who lived in different places. Another positive impact on them is that using social media as the main way to contact their friends or families could save money, in comparison with calling international telephones. Therefore, by using a variety of applicants through mobiles, not only would people save much time for staying in touch with others, but also they could save a large of expenses. Apart from the many benefits of technology, it could have drawbacks through the gadgets. The first and the foremost, technology would make people get social isolation, they then would not focus on personal interaction. A good instance for this phenomena is that people are less likely to help other people and not willing to care strangers. Secondly, if people used excessive technology devices, they would get potential health diseases easily, such as eye strain or over-weighting which resulted from sedentary behind a big screen for a long time. Consequently, technology would have adverse effects on people's lives, even the life would get worse. In conclusion, it seems that the positive impacts of technology outweigh the disadvantages, and unless we reduce the opportunity to use the gadgets and put attention on interaction, the issues with people can be alleviated.
Over the past few years, there has been an obvious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using various electronic devices. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could bring convenient on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in terms of saving money and time, it could have damaging effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's interaction.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using mobiles
frequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the gadgets could abridge the distances between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The main advantage of using mobiles for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
that they could maintain their family bonds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with friends who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on them is that using social media as the main way to contact their friends or families could save money,
in comparison
with calling international telephones.

Therefore
, by using a variety of applicants through mobiles, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save much time for staying in touch with others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they could save a large of expenses.

Apart from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, it could have drawbacks through the gadgets. The
first
and the foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
social isolation, they then would not focus on personal interaction. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
instance for
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and not willing to care strangers.
Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
devices, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
potential health diseases
easily
, such as eye strain or over-weighting which resulted from sedentary behind a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen for a long time.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
would have adverse effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, even the life would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse.

In conclusion
, it seems that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
outweigh the disadvantages, and unless we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the gadgets and put attention on interaction, the issues with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be alleviated
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Computers are an essential feature of modern education. Some people believe that certain subjects, such as mathematics, are better taught using computers. Others, however, think that there are aspects of education in which computer use is inadequate. Discu v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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