Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

What do you believe is the most important problem facing the world today? Why is it the most important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

What do you believe is the most important problem facing the world today? Why is it the most important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
In this techno-savvy world, a new automation is invented each passing day, and are available in the markets. Some people opine that the people will have a tremendous amount of spare time, provided that most tasks done by the humans will be replaced by the machines in upcoming days. This essay will highlight an advantage, such as improved family relationships, and a downfall likely, health issues will escalate, related to such situations. To begin with, an individual will obtain more leisure time, if much of their jobs is performed by the robots, and this way they are able to spend more time with their families and children. Personal issues such as divorce rates and family disputes are escalated nowadays due to workaholic partners or family members and unable to maintain the personal and the professional life. To illustrate, the Indian Human Rights Society stated that the annulment rate has raised from 23% to 56% in recent years because of the misunderstanding and trust issues between the working couples. Therefore, such replacement will be beneficial to boost the private relationship of an individual. On the other side, when most of the duties are executed by such machinery, then people will be more lazy, and suffer from several health related issues. Many physical illnesses such as diabetes, obesity and heart problems occur either due to sedentary lifestyle of a person or reduced physical activity. For instance, a survey recently taken by the Nepal Health Authority stated that more than 34% of the people suffer from various physical disorders nowadays, due to the facility of telecommuting that allow people to work from home, and such issues will escalate in the near future, when almost all tasks will be carried out by the automation. Thus, some duties should still be done by humans, and the government or the company associated must distribute it equally so that no any individual will suffer. In conclusion, I believe that each and every thing in the world has both negative and pragmatic sides. However, the pitfall of such circumstances might be abated if the government will be able to curb the amount of work distributed among the humans and the robots.
In this techno-savvy world, a new automation
is invented
each passing day, and are available in the markets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a tremendous amount of spare time, provided that most tasks done by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
will
be replaced
by the machines in upcoming days. This essay will highlight an advantage, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships, and a downfall likely, health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
will escalate, related to such situations.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, an individual will obtain more leisure time, if much of their jobs
is performed
by the robots, and this way they are able to spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and children. Personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as divorce rates and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
disputes
are escalated
nowadays due to workaholic partners or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and unable to maintain the personal and the professional life. To illustrate, the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
Rights Society stated that the annulment rate has raised from 23% to 56% in recent years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the misunderstanding and trust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
between the working couples.
Therefore
, such replacement will be beneficial to boost the private relationship of an individual.

On the other side, when most of the duties
are executed
by such machinery, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more lazy, and suffer from
Possible agreement error. The noun health seems to be uncountable; consider using: "some health".
several health
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
physical illnesses such as diabetes, obesity and heart problems occur either due to sedentary lifestyle of a person or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
physical activity.
For instance
, a survey recently taken by the Nepal Health Authority stated that more than 34% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from various physical disorders nowadays, due to the facility of telecommuting that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work from home, and such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
will escalate in the near future, when almost all tasks will
be carried
out by the automation.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
duties should
still
be done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
associated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
distribute it
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any individual will suffer.

In conclusion
, I believe that each and every thing in the world has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and pragmatic sides.
However
, the pitfall of such circumstances might
be abated
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will be able to curb the amount of work distributed among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and the robots.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What do you believe is the most important problem facing the world today? Why is it the most important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts