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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Programs made in one's own country are more interesting than those made in other countries. v.312

Programs made in one's own country are more interesting than those made in other countries. v. 312
The idea of living abroad is always thrilling until the challenge of communicating in a new language arises. This essay completely agrees that there are grave social and practical problems associated with residing in a nation that speaks a different mother tongue. This will be demonstrated by analysing the accompanying loneliness and difficulty in establishing a thriving business. Firstly, dwelling in a place where it is expected of a person to speak a native dialect distinct from his/hers will lead to a feeling of loneliness. This is because daily interactions will become difficult or even impossible, and such individual will be faced with a non-existent social life. For example, in a 2016 study carried out by the International Society of Sociologists in Russia, 70% of the foreigners living there cited lonesomeness as their greatest challenge. Considering the proportion of people who complained in the aforementioned study, it is clear that loneliness is a significant outcome of communication disparities. Secondly, speech plays an important role in helping people become successful in society. When individuals try to set up a business in a place where they cannot speak words that the locals understand, they will experience great difficulty in establishing the business and excelling. For instance, the widely-acclaimed richest man in Africa named Aliko Dangote, in an interview published by the Forbes Africa Magazine in 2018, mentioned language barrier as the most significant hurdle in his path to wealth creation. Therefore, it is clear that failure to interact in a native dialect can hinder the growth and success of enterprises in a foreign country. In conclusion, inability to interact with the natives of a different nation due to language differences, can bring about feeling of social abandonment and affect the growth of establishments. Hence, it is agreed that there are social and practical problems associated with residing in a country where the lingo is different. However, it is believed if resources are invested in learning the new language, these difficulties can be circumvented.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of living abroad is always thrilling until the challenge of communicating in a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
arises. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that there are grave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and practical problems associated with residing in a nation that speaks a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mother tongue. This will
be demonstrated
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the accompanying loneliness and difficulty in establishing a thriving business.

Firstly
, dwelling in a place where it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
of a person to speak a native dialect distinct from his/hers will lead to a feeling of loneliness. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
daily interactions will become difficult or even impossible, and such individual will
be faced
with a non-existent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life.
For example
, in a 2016 study carried out by the International Society of Sociologists in Russia, 70% of the foreigners living there cited lonesomeness as their greatest challenge. Considering the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who complained in the aforementioned study, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that loneliness is a significant outcome of communication disparities.

Secondly
, speech plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become successful in society. When individuals try to set up a business in a place where they cannot speak words that the locals understand, they will experience great difficulty in establishing the business and excelling.
For instance
, the
widely
-acclaimed
A determiner is probably missing here: "the richest".
richest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in Africa named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aliko
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dangote
, in an interview published by the Forbes Africa Magazine in 2018, mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier as the most significant hurdle in his path to wealth creation.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that failure to interact in a native dialect can hinder the growth and success of enterprises in a foreign country.

In conclusion
, inability to interact with the natives of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nation due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
differences, can bring about feeling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
abandonment and affect the growth of establishments.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and practical problems associated with residing in a country where the lingo is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
However
, it
is believed
if resources
are invested
in learning the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, these difficulties can
be circumvented
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Programs made in one's own country are more interesting than those made in other countries. v. 312

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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