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What do various religions promote? (50-80 words)

What do various religions promote? (50-80 words) 7rpGy
As you know, religion belongs to people’s culture, tradition and belief; Each religion has a different characteristic. From that, I think various religions will boost the integration of culture and tradition. To take the diet as an example, for everybody, apart from Buddhists, vegetarian seems to be strange; they can explain that it is not delicious because the vegetarian foods are quite bland. However, in our modern era, people realize that vegetarianism will good for their health from losing weight to keeping fit by means of scientific research; Gradually, vegetarianism is a part of their diet although they are not Buddhists.
As you know, religion belongs to
people
’s culture, tradition and belief; Each religion has a
different
characteristic. From that, I
think
various religions will boost the integration of culture and tradition. To take the diet as an example, for everybody, apart from Buddhists, vegetarian seems to be strange; they can
explain
that it is not delicious
because
the vegetarian foods are quite bland.
However
, in our modern era,
people
realize that vegetarianism will
good
for their health from losing weight to keeping fit by means of scientific research;
Gradually
, vegetarianism is a part of their diet although they are not Buddhists.
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IELTS essay What do various religions promote? (50-80 words)

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
101 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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