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Some people claim that young people are spending too much time watching TV. What do you think of this activity? And what kinds of activities can be introduced to them?

Some people claim that young people are spending too much time watching TV. What do you think of this activity? And what kinds of activities can be introduced to them? oV1Oq
To satisfy their needs for entertainment, watching television is the most general solution for everyone, especially for the youngsters. However, this has become a concern among us as more young people are currently being engulfed in this particular activity. With more time spent on television, this may lead to unwanted results such as worsening eyesight, the scarcity of physical activity that leads to obesity, and the lack of interaction with family. To resolve this problem, it is likely best for us to find a suitable surrogate. Most of the problems surrounding the terms of watching television are basically the need for being physically active. We tend to find it hard to leave our sight from the giant screen and consider any other motion as a distraction. The easiest way to embrace physical activity in this matter is to see it as entertainment rather than a nuisance. If you are capable of watching a two-hours-length football match, surely the real match will stand a chance. In extension, you can also share the fun with friends or other players, which makes sports much more exciting to encounter. With the vast amount of content being played in front of our very own eyes, it is impossible to divert our attention from it. However, this also reduces the need of being together with our family and friends; suddenly our large relation does not compare with the little world inside our television. To overcome this matter, it is more likely for us to set our priorities straight. Your favorite series can be recorded or replayed over time, but your precious time with family and friends can not. Spending more time with them is a great way to get rid of our obsession with the television and it even makes time fly so fast. In conclusion, watching television is not a dangerous activity yet it can bring lethal effects in our life such as worsening our eyesight and health and also reducing our time with family and other relations. The best way to avoid this matter is simply to adopt physical activities into our lifestyle; it makes us healthier and more active. The next possible solution is to interact more with our surroundings, whether it be friends or family.
To satisfy their needs for entertainment, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is the most general solution for everyone,
especially
for the youngsters.
However
, this has become a concern among us as more young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
currently
being engulfed
in this particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. With more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, this may lead to unwanted results such as worsening eyesight, the scarcity of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that leads to obesity, and the lack of interaction with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To resolve this problem, it is likely best for us to find a suitable surrogate.

Most of the problems surrounding the terms of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are
basically
the need for being
physically
active. We tend to find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
our sight from the giant screen and consider any other motion as a distraction. The easiest way to embrace physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in this matter is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as entertainment
rather
than a nuisance. If you are capable of watching a two-hours-length football match,
surely
the real match will stand a chance. In extension, you can
also
share the fun with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or other players, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sports much more exciting to encounter.

With the vast amount of content
being played
in front of our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
eyes, it is impossible to divert our attention from it.
However
, this
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the need of being together with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
;
suddenly
our large relation does not compare with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
world inside our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. To overcome this matter, it is more likely for us to set our priorities straight. Your favorite series can
be recorded
or replayed over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can not. Spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them is a great way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of our obsession with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and it even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
fly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.

In conclusion
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
yet
it can bring lethal effects in our life such as worsening our eyesight and health and
also
reducing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and other relations. The best way to avoid this matter is
simply
to adopt physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
into our lifestyle; it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us healthier and more active. The
next
possible solution is to interact more with our surroundings, whether it be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
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IELTS essay Some people claim that young people are spending too much time watching TV. What do you think of this activity? And what kinds of activities can be introduced to them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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