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What causes people to migrate illegally?

What causes people to migrate illegally? 1VyaX
In political area, we use 'failed state' word for unsuccesful state. This states can't protect citizens and apply to rule. Also they are poor countries. Their citizens dont obey their rules so that anybody don't respect that's countries. Many local groups settled in that'scountries because they dont have power on their's citizens. After these situations, some innocient peoples decide leave that's country. They want to quality life, good education system, who childrens are growing in high social standard livings. But their country can't provide these standarts due to fact that it is in corruption and neopotizm. Due to corruption and nepotizm, many company dont invest these countires. On the other hand rich peole leave these country. Owing to the fact that they are consider money and invests. We talked life in failed states in the first paragraph. Why people want migrate to other countries? Firstly, some countries are failed countries because they can' provide security of their citizens. İf we look political books, they start with 'state is provide their citizens life under the state control'. But these countries couldn't these terms. Many terorist group generate under the these conditions and they are apply their rules. Furthermore, some peoples accept their rules. Therefore, this state is divide to subcountries. Central governmet wants solve these problem and start war between governmet and groups. Almost all of people want left country, they going to border. And start human tragedy.
In political area, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
'failed state' word for
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsuccesful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
can't protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
and apply to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they are poor
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countries
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
obey their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that anybody don't respect that's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
local groups settled in that'
Possible spelling mistake found.
scountries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
have power on
Did you mean "their" or "theirs"?
their's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. After these situations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
innocient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
decide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
that's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to quality life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education system, who
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
are growing in high social standard livings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can't provide these
Possible spelling mistake found.
standarts
due to fact that it is in corruption and
Possible spelling mistake found.
neopotizm
. Due to corruption and
Possible spelling mistake found.
nepotizm
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
invest these
Possible spelling mistake found.
countires
.
On the other hand
rich
Possible spelling mistake found.
peole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Owing to the fact that they are
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
money and invests.

We talked life in failed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
in the
first
paragraph. Why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Probably a preposition is missing after 'want'.
want migrate
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
?
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are failed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can' provide security of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İf
we look political books, they s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tart
with 'state is provide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
life under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
control'. B
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ut
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
couldn't these terms. M
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
any
Possible spelling mistake found.
terorist
group generate under the these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
conditions and
they are
Consider using a past participle here: "applied".
apply
their r
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ules.
F
urthermore,
s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
accept their r
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ules.
T
herefore,
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
is divide to
Possible spelling mistake found.
subcountries
. Central
Possible spelling mistake found.
governmet
Probably a preposition is missing after 'wants'.
wants solve
Did you mean "this problem" or "these problems"?
these problem
and s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tart
war between
Possible spelling mistake found.
governmet
and groups. Almost all of p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eople
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
Did you mean "they're going", "they are going", or "they were going"?
they going
to border. And s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tart
human tragedy.
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IELTS essay What causes people to migrate illegally?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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