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Some think that people should live in modern life style, others believe that tradional life style is better.

Some think that people should live in modern life style, others believe that tradional life style is better. wK8xE
People have different views about which one is beneficial, living contemporarily or traditionally. While dwelling in the traditional condition is sometimes trustworthy, I still believe that people can have a number of opportunities for better life if residing in a fashionable style. On the one hand, tradition might be a key element of our life and believable for everyone. In consequences, our ancestors have had an experience among human existence that they have tested everything they encounter with and passed their knowledge in terms of this to live safely. In this way, to keep traditional living form and costumes, we need to teach our children the culture that they save it for the next generation. On the other hand, the world is becoming more modernized and technological day by day. This do affect our life and it's form and also encourage the fact that everything, even people evolve depending on the atmosphere they live, as an outcome. Each object, for instance, is modernizing and getting up-date rapidly that new types of them are appeared. People should therefore coordinate with the modern world, and fashionable living conditions can offer this opportunity. In conclusion, the traditional style of living could be more experienced, however, I would agree that it is good to dwell in a modern condition.
People
have
different
views about which one is beneficial,
living
contemporarily
or
traditionally
. While dwelling in the traditional condition is
sometimes
trustworthy, I
still
believe that
people
can have a number of opportunities for better life if residing
in a fashionable style
. On the one hand, tradition might be a key element of our life and believable for everyone. In consequences, our ancestors have had an experience among human existence that they have
tested
everything they encounter with and passed their knowledge in terms of this to
live
safely
. In this way, to
keep
traditional
living
form and costumes, we need to teach our children the culture that they save it for the
next
generation.
On the other hand
, the world is becoming more modernized and technological day by day.
This do
affect our life and it's form and
also
encourage the fact that everything, even
people
evolve depending on the atmosphere they
live
, as an outcome. Each object,
for instance
, is modernizing and getting up-date
rapidly
that new types of them
are appeared
.
People
should
therefore
coordinate with the modern world, and fashionable
living
conditions can offer this opportunity.
In conclusion
, the traditional style of
living
could be more experienced,
however
, I would
agree
that it is
good
to dwell in a modern condition.
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IELTS essay Some think that people should live in modern life style, others believe that tradional life style is better.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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