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What cause and effect of terrorism?

What cause and effect of terrorism? Eq5X3
Nowadays, In most countries have a big problem which is terrorism. Advanced countries are looking for causes in this burning issue. There are some guesses to spread terrorism in whole world. I will provide viable option effects to this matter. One of the cause to commit terrorism is unequal living condition. Because of living in poor country has not any opportunities to make good life. For instance, education, salary, working quality and so on One a striking example is Afghanistan. It is known the last research showed that, 80 percent of citizens in Afghanistan can not be taught even. Terrorism has many bad effects in a humans' life such as death. Most terroristic groups' aim is almost similar. They want to control society with power. If someone has reluctance and abiding their law this person is killed by member of terrorists. Since they do not like independent individuals. Another feasible effect is broken buildings and putting barriers to improve people's quality. To conclude, Authorities should restrict terroristic organisation. No countries ought to support them. Due to fact that, this type of community are very aggressive and tendency to bum individuals off and break life
Nowadays, In most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorism
. Advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are looking for causes in this burning issue. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
guesses to spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorism
in whole world. I will provide viable option effects to this matter. One of the cause to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorism
is unequal living condition.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of living in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has not any opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life.
For instance
, education, salary, working quality and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on One a striking example is Afghanistan. It
is known
the last research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that, 80 percent of citizens in Afghanistan can not
be taught
even.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Terrorism
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects in a humans' life such as death. Most terroristic groups' aim is almost similar. They want to control society with power. If someone has reluctance and abiding their law this person
is killed
by member of terrorists.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
they do not like independent individuals. Another feasible effect
is broken
buildings and putting barriers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's quality.
To conclude
, Authorities should restrict terroristic
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. No
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
ought to support them. Due to fact that, this type of community are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
aggressive and tendency to bum individuals off and break
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay What cause and effect of terrorism?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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