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What are the benefits of limiting cars into the city center?

What are the benefits of limiting cars into the city center? xx5Wb
These are the 3 main benefits that explain why people should limit the number of cars in the city center First of all, banning cars from entering the city can save the government a large amount of money from the cost of repairing and upgrading roads to building parking spaces. With the money saved, it is possible to develop environmentally friendly public transport or other useful works for society. The next benefit from this is being able to greatly reduce air and noise pollution cars emit significant amounts of fine particles and other problematic substances into the atmosphere, it can cause serious respiratory diseases in humans. Also, most of the noise in the city center often comes from car traffic and if we ban cars from inner cities, this noise would be gone immediately so people could enjoy a much quieter atmosphere. Finally, banning cars can also have a significant positive effect on the safety of our streets. According to the UN Department of Safety and Security, with 1. 3 million people dying in car crashes each year. If there were fewer cars, the chance of a car traffic accident would be greatly reduced
These are the 3 main benefits that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should limit the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in the city center

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
from entering the city can save the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
a large amount of money from the cost of repairing and upgrading roads to building parking spaces. With the money saved, it is possible to develop
environmentally
friendly public transport or other useful works for society.

The
next
benefit from this is being able to
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air and noise pollution

cars emit significant amounts of fine particles and other problematic substances into the atmosphere, it can cause serious respiratory diseases in humans.
Also
, most of the noise in the city center
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
traffic and if we ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
from inner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, this noise would
be gone
immediately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could enjoy a much quieter atmosphere.

Finally
, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can
also
have a significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the safety of our streets. According to the UN Department of Safety and Security, with 1. 3 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
dying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
crashes each year. If there were fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, the chance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
traffic accident would be
greatly
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
reduced
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IELTS essay What are the benefits of limiting cars into the city center?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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