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What are your plans for your son's future?

What are your plans for your son's future? OrlDM
Children, firstly inherit most of their behavior and personality from their parents. For example, they were born in parent’s country and city. Then they have grown in that sociality and had learned mother tongue. Some of human’s abilities are genetically, for instance art and music must be in their blood and it is very difficult to learn them but it is not impossible. I never have learned music but I always enjoy traditional music in my life and I know that the music is the food of the ghost. Because of I have encouraged my son to learn one of musical instruments and I never suggest the kind of music for him and I asked him, his favorite and he has selected Guitar, this is a good selection in my mind too, then I bought a Yamaha Guitar for him and he has started to learn guitar and his teacher said that he is good in this short time and I like, he progress in music at the future. Also, today I know that the English language is very important in nowadays relationship and acknowledgment so I have a plan for my son to learn English language, because I believe it will be useful in his future life and today it is happening and I see my son is learning English very good and it is clear for me, my son understand and speak English very well in future. I am going to send him abroad for university. He interests in zoology and he wants to study in Oxford university. In this way, I have plans to prepare a good situation for him to study in the best high school to improve his educational foundation. Another one of my plans for him, will be in sport. I want, he does a sport professionally in the future. This will help him to be healthy and he will have good relation with others. For this goal, I trained him, Skiing and Swimming and because of his interested in those, I hope that my son continues one of them in future and enjoys with that in his life.
Children,
firstly
inherit most of their behavior and personality from their parents.
For example
, they
were born
in parent’s country and city. Then they have grown in that
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociality
and had learned mother tongue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human abilities"?
human’s abilities
are
genetically
,
for instance
art and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be in their blood and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not impossible.

I never have learned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I always enjoy traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in my life and I know that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the food of the ghost.
Probable usage error. Use "Because I" instead.
Because of I
have encouraged my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
one of musical instruments and I never suggest the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for him and I asked him, his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
favorite and
he has selected Guitar, this is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
selection in my mind too, then I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a Yamaha Guitar for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
him and
he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
guitar and his teacher said that he is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in this short time and I like, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "progresses", "progressed".
progress
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
at the future.

Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
I know that the English language is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
relationship and acknowledgment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I have a plan for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
English language,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe it will be useful in his future life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
it is happening and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
is learning English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
for me, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
understand and speak English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
him abroad for university. He interests in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
zoology and
he wants to study in Oxford university. In this way, I have plans to prepare a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
situation for him to study in the best high school to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his educational foundation.

Another one of my plans for him, will be in sport. I want, he does a sport
professionally
in the future. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
healthy and
he will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relation with others. For this goal, I trained him, Skiing and Swimming and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his interested in those, I hope that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
continues one of them in future and enjoys with that in his life.
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IELTS essay What are your plans for your son's future?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
355 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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