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What are the reasons for this behaviour and what action can be taken?

What are the reasons for this behaviour and what action can be taken? kxdn8
It’s no secret that overconsumption has gone through the roof in recent years. More and more people buy stuff that is pretty much useless to them and often they don’t even have the required financial status to explain this behavior. As a result, they’re constantly in debt, paying off installments and interest fees. However, what exactly leads to these types of behaviors and, most importantly, how can citizens discipline themselves in order to avoid buying stupid stuff. One may be rightfully wondering, which factors drive individuals to this extent. Surely, the need to impress and copy others is the culprit. When we see movies with rich people enjoying lavish lifestyles, people feel as though their lifestyles, possessions, and achievements are not good by society’s standards. In other words, we look at a very small minority of people that are a bit wealthier and believe that every single citizen should have that type of financial status. Moreover, people tend to buy expensive and luxury goods to impress others and enjoy the attention their fake lavish lifestyle gets. This feeling of inferiority and the need to impress other citizens, ultimately, lead individuals to purchase things they cannot afford and portray lifestyles that are far from the truth. This issue leads to the problem of overconsumption and debt. Governments ought to take measures as soon as possible in a bid to deal with these problems. For instance, a newly introduced school subject that teaches students concepts related to financial literacy would result in more adults that are responsible with their money. What humans lack in these types of situations and scenarios is adequate education. If society was a bit wiser and smarter with their choices, everyone would understand that buying things you cannot afford is not only beneficial for themselves but for the whole nation too. People wouldn’t take out loans or agree on installments and, as a result, none of the two parties would be in debt. All in all, people getting into debt by making stupid purchases is a serious issue that needs to be dealt with quickly. Proper education is enough to combat all the factors that lead to this situation and responsible usage of money, in turn, benefits the whole nation.
It’s no secret that overconsumption has gone through the roof in recent years. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff
that is
pretty much useless to them and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
they don’t even have the required financial status to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this behavior.
As a result
, they’re
constantly
in debt, paying off installments and interest fees.
However
, what exactly leads to these types of behaviors and, most
importantly
, how can citizens discipline themselves in order to avoid buying stupid stuff.

One may be
rightfully
wondering, which factors drive individuals to this extent.
Surely
, the need to impress and copy others is the culprit. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
movies with rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoying lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel as though their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
, possessions, and achievements are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
by society’s standards. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, we look at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that are a bit wealthier and believe that every single citizen should have that type of financial status.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive and luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to impress others and enjoy the attention their fake lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
. This feeling of inferiority and the need to impress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
citizens,
ultimately
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things they cannot afford and portray
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
that are far from the truth.

This issue leads to the problem of overconsumption and debt.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
ought to take measures as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible in a bid to deal with these problems.
For instance
, a
newly
introduced school subject that teaches students concepts related to financial literacy would result in more adults that are responsible with their money. What humans lack in these types of situations and scenarios is adequate education. If society was a bit wiser and smarter with their choices, everyone would understand that buying things you cannot afford is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial for themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for the whole nation too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
wouldn’t take out loans or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on installments and,
as a result
, none of the two parties would be in debt.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting into debt by making stupid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
is a serious issue that needs to
be dealt
with
quickly
. Proper education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to combat all the factors that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to this situation and responsible usage of money, in turn, benefits the whole nation.
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IELTS essay What are the reasons for this behaviour and what action can be taken?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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